Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 9/11/2006

Question
Hi James,
At the moment i am at a pretty low point in life. My boyfriend just broke up with me because of the way i behave when we are in social situations. I drink too much and never want to go home when it is time. This is not the first relationship that has ended as a consequence to my drinking. I do not drink every day or even every weekend, but when i do drink i drink excessive amounts. I drink to get drunk. I think the underlying problem is my self esteem and i used to suffer from extreme anxiety attacks which i thought i had under control by prescription antidepressents. It has controlled my anxiety to a point but i still drink alcohol when i go out. I have alot of self doubt and bad self image, even tho i know that i am very pretty, if i cant look into a mirror to reashure myself then i forget and become unconfident. I have lost alot of friends, my family do not invite me out in social situations and this has ended many other relationships too. I am in the process of establishing a business but keep putting it off due to my lack of confidence even tho i know i will be very successful. Its like i have two thought waves at all times, there is the confident me that is ready to take on the world and then there is the part of me that gives me doubt and holds me back. I have alot of guilt and i dont like who i am at times. I really want help for my problem. Awaiting your reply. Natalie  

Answer
Dear Natalie

Alcohol is a natural depressant which can cause all of the problems you describe. I quit drinking 15 years ago because of the same feelings and behaviors. I would suggest that you do some research and find some recovery groups in your area that will help you quit drinking and recover your self esteem. You are a beautiful, wonderful person, you have just forgotten that. When the fog clears, and it will, you will see how many glorious things wait for you to discover.

Good luck