Expert: Druideck - 12/21/2007

Question
I have a son who was about 80 days sober and living in a sober living house. He just  had his 28th birthday wherein he decided he was a big loser.  He was on meth for 10 years and quit that for two years and took up alcohol instead.  Well, he relapsed and started right up with a liter of vodka, which is how much he was drinking before detox 90 days ago.  What should my response to him be?  How do I deal with it? How can i help him get back into sobriety and keep moving on?

Answer
Mary Jo,

after a relapse it is normal to feel like
a failure. Feelings like this can just
make the desire to keep drinking worse.

It is important in the early days to have
support like AA or NA. This gives
you a place that is safe to be
and adds the support you need to get
through.

-When you quit drinking there comes
a time when you have to say to yourself
"no excuse is an excuse to drink or use,
no matter how bad I feel or how much I
hate myself."
-Sobriety will come if he thinks "I will not drink today because
maybe someday I will care enough about myself
that it will all be worthwhile."

-not drinking is enormously difficult in the beginning.
Every relapse just makes it harder.
It takes time to correct the thinking problems
that lead us to drinking problems.
If he feels like he is going to drink that
is when he needs to sit in an AA meeting, or
start reading the "manual" on sobriety,
the AA "Big Book" It got me through and I am
happily sober 22 years.