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Addiction to Alcohol/does he remember?
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Question
hi, sir
The other night, I was working out at a gym and I noticed my friend who works there and I said hi to him and to tell him that it was my birthday. I smelled his breath and noticed that he was drinking on the job since it was his friend's birthday. He acted alright throughtout the job. (He's a personal trainer at the gym)I watched him train hi client and he said I should join them. I didn' feel like it but I wanted to watch him train his client. I walked by and then he put his arm around my waist and touched my stomach. He toldd me he wanted to hang out with me after he's done with his job.
When he was done with his job, he drove his Porsche to pick me up cos' he wants to "take me home." It was then and there he told me he was drunk and feel like jerking. He asked me to do him a "favor." I was shocked and then he drove me. I told him to rest and not drive but he drove ten blocks down very quickly. He was rambling about how he was a cop and a military man even though i wasn't true. He said he felt like having sex and he started driving me to his place. Frightened, I told him to drive me back." He did so immediately saying "If you want to end it this way and you don't need to explain anything"
The next day I talked to him and he said he doesn't remember what he said to me. Was he lying? He was definitely ddrunk. He said he don't remember but he does remember that he told me not to worry and that he drove me back. What made him say those sexual thingsto me and was he lying when he said he didn't remember or was it the alcohol? Sorry for the long post.
Greetings to you, Yan.
It is certainly possible your friend cannot recall details after drinking, as there is a certain "amnesia" that can take place as an effect of extreme intoxication. Such occurrences are called "blackouts", where a drinker's conscious memory is later "blacked out" -- the record button had been diabled -- even though nobody could have known that at the time. It is also possible the man was later lying to you while using his awareness of past blackouts as a cover of sorts. And, the reason he had said to you the things he had is because he is a man who believes it is okay to pursue self-satisfaction of his own instincts at the expense of others and because alcohol can reduce or even block normal or proper common sense or inhibition.
Peace to you,
Joe
Email: leejosepho@hotmail.com
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Answers by Expert:
Joseph Lee O.
Expertise
Greetings to you! Amidst the insufficiency of all the philosophical, religious and “self-help” approaches to relief from chronic alcoholism, I have personally experienced the content of “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book. Thus, I can now explain at least the essence of the physical, mental and emotional aspects of an alcoholic's inherent condition and plight, and I can show why a spiritual solution is required and how it works and how to attain one.
Experience
The oldest of four boys, I grew up in a religious, Midwestern-USA family. Unable to decline a friendly offer in a social setting, I had "no effective mental defense against the first drink" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 43), and took my very first drink ever at age 24 ... and within minutes I had become obsessed with getting more of the effect that glass of homemade wine had given me. Alcohol had just done something *for* me that nothing else had ever done; it had seemingly "fixed" something inside me I had not even known was broken.
Over the next seven years of my life, I "drank up" just about everything and everyone ever meaning much to me at all, and I eventually abandoned my young family so I could drink and smoke pot at will. For, you see, alcohol was giving me a good-to-go feeling about life and a sense of control I had never before had, and at least in the early days of my drinking it could kill just about any pain that came along.
At age 31, however, circumstances and consequences had piled up all around me in ways that were making it obvious I could not continue on much longer. Life had become too tough, my pains had grown too great and the dangers of continuing to drink had become too undeniable for me to be able to continue believing I might ultimately survive an inescapable drop to the bottom of the pit. I still wanted to be able to drink safely as in days past, but something had seemingly "taken over" my drinking and was dragging me completely out-of-control after just one drink. So, and even while completely overwhelmed by the thought of facing life alcohol-free, I decided to stop drinking altogether ... and I quickly discovered I could not. No matter what I said, thought or did even just "one day at a time", I always ended up drinking once again. Where I wanted to drink safely, I could not, and neither could I remain abstinent for very long at all ... and such is the physical "allergy" (where one drink takes another) coupled with alcoholism’s mental-emotional obsession for the effect of alcohol ...
... but then I met a small group of people who personally understood my deadly dilemma - my complete personal powerlessness - and those same folks were quite able to propose a permanent solution. I accepted, of course, and today it is as if I "could not drink even if [I] would" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 57), and for that I now remain unendingly grateful.
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