Expert: Rebos - 8/22/2007

Question
Not a question,just wanted to say my wife is asleep once again on the sofa,after  a night of drinking and after reading your tips and explanations I do not feel alone any more. I will contact the 1-800 number for Canada for Al-Anon and see if I can get some support in living with my wife addiction.It has been about 10 years but it seem s to have got worse in the past 3 to 4 years.

My daughter came over tonight and we went for a walk,she knew her mum was drunk and suggested it was maybe because of me.That made me feel sad.Once again I thank you for some insight and direction. I have ask my wife to talk to some one about it and even had her liver checked but she will not listen just like you said. I am a social drinker but have got to the point that I do not want to even look at a drink after seeing my wife curled up in a little corner of the couch 3 to 4 nights a week.

Answer
Good morning Thomas and thank you for your kind words.

I am pleased that you are going to attend Al-Anon meetings, you have no idea how much they are going to help you! All that I ask is that you have an open mind and be willing to listen to those who have gone before you and have found their peace of mind. Try and identify with those that you will hear tell their stories, and don’t compare with the differences. The differences are only those things that have not happened to you YET if your wife doesn’t go for help! There is a saying (when you are new to the meetings) “take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth”. You have a lot to learn and it takes time.

I beg to differ with your daughter. Your wife (her mother) has a disease and like any disease you did not give it to her! At Al-Anon meetings you will find out that you have no control over your wife’s drinking. I don’t think that your daughter intended to hurt you… it was her emotions talking and not the loving daughter that she capable of being.

I would be interested in the progress that you make, and if I can be of further help please let me know. Thank you Rebos