AboutRebos Expertise If you think that you or someone that you care about is having a problem with alcohol, ask me a question, I may be able to help you. I have over 39 years of experience dealing with alcohol recovery and I am willing to share that experience with you. Alcoholism is a disease, and there is no shame in being an alcoholic. The shame is in doing nothing about it!
Experience Over 39years of experience in the field of alcoholism and alcoholic recovery.
Question thats the ques. how do i get him on, and how long should a good program last to help him get positive results
Answer Good afternoon Frank:
Thank you for your question, however I am not sure as to what kind of program you are referring to. Are you referring to Alcoholics Anonymous, a detoxification unit, or counseling, or some other type of program? In any case Alcoholism is a disease that does not go away…the best that anyone can hope for is to arrest the disease by not drinking alcohol. Those who chose to go to AA find that the more meetings that they go to the better their chances are they will not return to drinking. If you are referring to a detox unit or hospital a stay can be for a week or so up to a month, and then possibly go to a half way house for a longer period of time. Even counseling is dependent on the counselor's schedule (after he/she determines how bad off the patient is) that the time could be short or a long. In any case there is no cure from alcoholism. No matter where he may go for help they will probably tell him to go to Alcoholics Anonymous after the Detox or counseling. Just like a diabetic knows that he cannot ever have sugar an alcoholic has to learn that he cannot ever drink alcohol again. Any program in order for it to be effective must last for a lifetime. There are no shortcuts to getting sober and staying sober for the long haul. If you son is an alcoholic he has to make up his own mind and throw in the towel and admit that booze has him beaten. I would recommend that he see his doctor and find out if his drinking has caused him any physical or mental problems that should be considered before any type of program of recovery is chosen. If there are no problems he may be best off going to AA, (and it is free) but if he thinks that there is a quick way of being cured, or that he can stop on his own…it just wont work. You might want to go to Alanon meetings to see how you can help him to make the right choices. Alanon is a group that helps the friends, and family of alcoholics. Like AA it is also a 12-step program that has had great success in helpings those who have an alcoholic in their lives. They can be reached at www.al-anon.alateen.org.
At Alanon you will find that your problem is not quite as unique as you may think. At Alanon you would learn how to live with having an alcoholic in your life, and learn the truth about the disease of alcoholism. Alanon is intended to help YOU and not the Alcoholic directly. In order for you to be able to help him you must first learn to help
yourself. At Alanon you would meet people who have an alcoholic in their lives too, and that their own lives had become unmanageable as a result of it. Alcoholism is a disease that affects everyone who comes into contact with the alcoholic. Alcoholics are not bad people, they are sick people who need help, but they must be held responsible for their actions! You may not be able to do anything about your son's drinking but you can do something about the problem that has developed in your life by having an alcoholic in it. Until you are armed with the right kind of information, knowledge and implications of the disease your efforts to help him will be for nothing. Alcoholism is deadly and it destroys everything and everyone who comes into contact with it. If you do not have Alanon's local number call the following toll-free numbers: 1-800-344-2666 (United States) or 1-800-443-4525 (Canada).
It is generally believed, by many in the field of alcoholism, that it is a three-fold disease. Mental, Physical and Spiritual.
The “mental” part of the illness refers to the mental obsession to drink that precedes the first drink... a pre-occupation with thinking about drinking which is so powerful that the alcoholic must drink. The “physical” aspect of the disease is, that once the first drink is downed a physical compulsion takes over in the form of a deep incessant craving that the alcoholic must continue to drink until some outside incident stops them or they pass out. The “spiritual” part of the illness (not spiritual in a religious way) is in the loss of an alcoholic's values, and a willingness to settle for less and less as the drinking continues. It becomes difficult for the alcoholic to determine the difference between right and wrong or good and bad. The alcoholic develops a change in priorities where drinking becomes more important than health, family, job and friends. Stopping drinking is not a matter of willpower. Alcoholism is a disease. Drinking alcoholically is but a symptom of a deeper underlying problem that must be faced up to in order for an alcoholic to recover. Without
learning what that problem is, trying to stay away from a drink is known as "white knuckle sobriety". It isn't very long before the alcoholic has to drink again. For the alcoholic there is no such thing as cutting down, drinking only on weekends, changing what they drink, smoking pot or taking other mind altering drugs or even switching to “near beer” with 0.5% alcohol. For the alcoholic nothing will work short of total and complete abstinence from any thing that contains alcohol or other mind-altering substances (drugs). Of course the exception is a medical doctor's prescription as long as the doctor understands that he is dealing with an addicted person. Unfortunately, all alcoholics must hit their own bottom before they do anything about stopping. I am sorry to say that hitting a bottom for some many may mean going as low as a person can go...plus six feet! Don't let him take you there with him. Until your son “admits and accepts” that alcohol is causing him problems there is little you can do for him. No one can scare an alcoholic into stopping drinking. Threatening, begging and even putting him away against his will, will not get him to stop doing what he has not made up his own mind to do. Also, don't be lulled into thinking that he will stop drinking just because he says that he will. It's not that he will purposely lie to you…but he will lie to himself because down deep he may be afraid to stop. Alcoholism is powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious. An active alcoholic's choices become limited to: attending a recovery program like AA, or entering an in-patient detoxification clinic that has an after care outpatient program. If he does nothing about stopping then he is destined to die a drunk's death, get involved negatively with the law or end up in a mental institution. I am sorry to be blunt, but I am only stating what you probably already know. I have never seen an alcoholic stop drinking on willpower alone. The disease is too powerful.
I am sorry that I had to generalize much of my answer to you but I didn't have very much to work with from your e-mail question. If there is any thing further I can do for you can contact me again thru Allexperts. Thank you Rebos
