Expert: Rebos - 8/10/2007

Question
my husband drinks every night sometimes hes ok but most f the time he can be very nasty, not hitting anyone but verberly he always wants to go on when hes had a drink but wont say anything when hes sober i dont how many times hes made me cry and my daughters cry, i just feel as if i cant take any more of him please help me

Answer

Good morning Debra and thank you for your question.

I recommend that you and your daughter (if she is an adult) go to Alanon. If your daughter is a teenager then she should be going to Alateen. You may not be able to do anything about your husband’s drinking but you can do something about the problem that has developed in YOUR lives by having an alcoholic in it. At Alanon you will find out what you can do to help him (if you choose to) by first learning to help yourself. Alanon can be reached by calling: 1-800-344-2666 (United States) or 1-800-443-4525 (Canada). Alanon is where you will get better. What you need, is to listen to others who are or have been in a similar situation that you are in now, and have found an answer to their problem. I guarantee that if you attend Alanon regularly, and work on your self…you will get better. That’s not to say that your husband will get better because you go to Alanon, but you will learn how to detach from his illness with love and learn to hate the disease and not its victim. You have to give Alanon a chance to work for you…there are no quick fixes to your problem.

If you have any specific questions resulting from my answer feel free to contact me again thru Allexperts. Thank you, Rebos.