Expert: Rebos - 8/3/2004

Question
I AM A 38 AND HAVE BEEN DRINKING MOST OF MY ADULT LIFE. I DRINK ON AVERAGE 8/9 KEYSTONE LIGHT BEERS FIVE NIGHTS A WEEK. AND HAVE BEEN DOING SO FOR ABOUT A YEAR DO IN PART TO A BREAK UP OF A BUSSINESS PARTNERSHIP OF A GOOD FRIEND THAT CAUGHT BE COMPLETELY OF GUARD AND SENT ME INTO A TALE SPIN AND MINOR DEPRESSION WHEN I WENT TO MY DOCTOR I WAS TRUTHFUL OF MY DRINKING PRATICES AND HE NEVER SUGGESTED THAT I SLOW DOWN ON MY DRINKING HE WAS ACTUALLY MORE CONCERENED THAT I QIUTE SMOKING. NOW RECENTLY MY WIFE AND FAMILY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT I SHOULD QUIT OR AT LEAST CUT DOWN MY INTAKE I OPTED TO STOP DRINKING FOR A PERIOD OF TWO WEEKS TO SEE IF I WOULD HAVE ANY WITHDRAWS FROM MY DRINKING OF WITCH I HAD NONE TO SPEEK OF I ALSO ATTENDED AN AA MEETING AND FELT THAT THE MAJORITY OF THE MEMBERS HAD BEEN ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS IN ADDITION TO RUN IN WITH THE LAW LOST OF EMPLOYMENT BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS INFADELITY ECT.I HAVE NEVER EXSPERIECE ANY OF THE ABOVE.
THIS LEADS ME TO WONDER AM I ADDICTED OR SIMPLY A HEAVY USER I ANSWERED A Q&A AT MODERATION.ORG AND RECIEVED A SCORE OF TEN OUT OF A POSSIBLE 45 I HAVE NEVER NEEDED A DRINK IN THE MORNING OR HAD THE SHAKES OR BLACK OUT OR SEEN PINK ELEPHANTS I DO DRINK FOR THE HIGH! SOMETIMES EXCESSIVE OTHER TIMES NOT SO MUTCH IT DEPENDS ON MY MOOD I HAVE HAD TIMES THAT I DONT REMEMBER EVERYTHING OR CONVERSATION THAT HAS HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE BUT WHO HASN'T. I DO HAVE ALCOLISM IN MY FAMILY MY DAD DIED FROM IT AND FROM WHAT I GATHER IS THAT CHILDREN OF A ALCHOLIC ARE AT A GREATER RISK AND THE SON EVEN MORE SO MY SIBBLING ALL GIRLS TWO DRINK VERY LITTLE IF ANY THE OTHER IN MODDERATION. I GUESS THE PROBLEM THAT IM HAVING AS I TRY TO EDUCATE MYSELF IN REGARDS TO MY DRINKING IS THAT ONE SIDES OF THE COIN SAYS YES YOU ARE A ALCOHOLIC AND YOU MUST QUIT IE. AA, AL-ANON ECT. WILE THEY OTHER SUGGEST MODDERATION. THE ONE THING THAT BOTH SIDES AGREE ON IS THE AMOUNT THAT I CONSUME IS EXCESSIVE THIS I ALSO AGREE WITH HOWEVER IN REGGARDS TO MODDERATION SOME EXPERTS SAY 2 DRINKS A DAY WHY OTHERS SAY 4 TO 6 IS ACCEPTABLE I WOULD LIKE A UNBIAS OPPINION FROM YOU AS TO THE DIRRECTION I SHOULD PURSUE. IN TRUTH I WOULD RATHER MODERATE THAN QUITE BUT I ALSO DONT WANT TO FOOL MYSELF INTO BELIEVING ITS POSSIBLE.

IN CLOSING REBOS I JUST WANT SOME ANSWERS AND CONTROL OVER MY DRINKING THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.

JPC  

Answer
Good Afternoon JPC:

Thank you for your question. I will do my best to try and educate you about alcoholism

First, let me say that you are the only one who can tell if you are an alcoholic and have it be meaningful in order for you to want to do anything about it. You must remember that alcoholism like any other addiction is a disease of denial. It tries to fool you into thinking that there is no problem, when there really is one.

Secondly, if you have to think about controlling your drinking you have already lost control of it. Social drinkers don't have to think about control, they can take it or leave it without any thought about how many or how few they should drink at any given time.

Thirdly, IF DRINKING CAUSES PROBLEMS THEN IT IS A PROBLEM! If your wife and family are showing concern then that concern in itself is enough of a problem for you to seriously consider abstinence from booze. It really doesn't make any difference of how much you drink…who you drink it with or where you drink it. The question that you have to ask yourself is, “What does it do to you when you drink it”. There is no shame in being an alcoholic...the shame is in doing nothing about it.

At the AA meeting that you went to and sat there comparing with the speakers stories that you have never been in jail, ran someone over while drunk and driving, never lost a job (or whatever you may have heard that you haven't done). You had better seriously consider putting a big fat YET after all of the things you haven't done YET. The speakers that you heard at AA at some time in their drinking history hadn't done those things YET neither! If you continue going down the path that you apparently set for yourself you can be absolutely sure that some if not all plus a lot more of those things that you claim to have never done will be part of your story.

Not remembering what you might have done (at times) when you are drunk is called a “blackout”. What it really is, is alcoholic amnesia. Each time you have a blackout some brain cells die. The end result is what is called A WET BRAIN. Its like a prize fighter that gets hit in the head too much, after a while he is in another world.

I don't know you  or what your personal circumstances are, but you are only 38 years old, and with any luck have a long life ahead of you. If you are willing to take a gamble on continuing to drink, I guarantee you that there is lots of trouble ahead for you and unfortunately your family who don't deserve to be a part of what it is in the cards for you.

I really don't know what to tell you beyond what I have. I could go into lots more details if you want me to, but I think that I have written enough for you to digest for this time. If you want to contact me for further information, please get in touch with me again. Thank you Rebos