Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 10/6/2008

Question
My Fiance' believes he is not addicted to marijuana, but his behavior is intolerable when he is not high. I suspect that he may have an underlying personality disorder, and he uses the drug to self medicate. He has been using since 14. He did experiment with alot of other drugs but says that he only likes weed. Most all of his "friends" are users of weed or a combination of weed and something else. I believe that if he were to make new friends and stay away from his childhood friends he'd actually have a chance at quitting. I do not use drugs. He had promised me he would stop only to find out that he was going behind my back. We are not young, he's 43 and I'm 36. I have 4 children from my ex-husband and one with my fiance'. I feel I can't trust him, as soon as my back is turned he's running to someone's house to get high. On weekends he doesn't want to do much around the house except take his rides to get high. I do not allow it around the house and children. I feel like he's one of my teenagers, and I already have 3! I would not tolerate this behavior from my children but find it hard to set boundaries because they are aware of his choices and behavior. He becomes angry, rude, impatient, anxious, and just hard to get along with when he's not high. Then he'll take a ride, come back, and he's happy, playful, and easy to get along with. This has to stop. I've suggested he see a therapist to possibly go on legal meds to help control his moods or if nothing else just to have someone to talk to. He says he doesn't want to take "drugs"!
I'm really overwhelmed here. Please, do you have any advice, solutions, etc?

Answer
Dear Penelope,

I can see you are in a very difficult situation. You have to understand that for a drug addict his drug of addiction is more important to him than you or your children. There is no way you can force him to give up drugs, because this has to come from himself. If he won't give up, he will always lie about his drug use and manipulate you and anyone else. Drug addicts are destroyers of human relationships and if he is not willing to give up, you may have to consider separating from him.

However, provided he is motivated there are way of helping drugs addict overcome their addiction. As you said drugs are used to cover an underlying personality disorder. This is related to  sickness of the body, that prevents the production of feel good neurotransmitters such as serotonin.

The disease has been explained in:

Drug Addiction is a Nutritional Disorder at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/drug_addictions_nutritional_disorder.htm...

If he wants to treat himself, he should read:

What is Hypoglycemia at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/what_is_hypo.html

and also

The Serotonin Connection at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/serotonin_connection.html

Treatment of Drug Addiction at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/treatment_drug_addiction.html

Self Help Personal Growth Program at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/self-help_personal_growth.html

If he wants to have some professional assistance, he should be referred to a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or a Nutritional Psychologist.

Perhaps he should also read my book "Getting off the Hook" which is freely available on the internet.

_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman
Hon. Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman