Expert: Caroline West - 12/30/2008

Question
So this is actually really all hard to say. I honestly do not know what to say. I know for a fact that my boyfriend does heroin he has admitted to it several times. In the beginning of our relationship i came in knowing he use to be a heroin addict. He told me numerous times that he was off the drug and was clean. I have recently found out different. He now has admitted that he is still addicted to the drug. He talks about how he wants to be clean, and how he wants his old life back and his friends but he doesn't know what to do. His brother is also doing heroin which does not help the matters at all. My boyfriend has told me that he wants me to help him, and i try so hard to but i really don't know what to do. I do not do drugs myself. But despite what everyone else says about him i want to help him so bad, because i love this guy and i know deep down he really wants to be clean. But all he knows is heroin. He does not do heroin to feel high anymore. He tells me he does it to feel normal. I guess this is because when he is not doing it and is having withdrawls he is sick. Very sick. How can i tell when he is on heroin? How can i help him? I really have no idea what to do. This whole thing is killing me. He talked about going to rehab but now he's saying he can do this on his own he just needs to get off sick. What is that suppose to mean? Is there any kind of medicine he can take? Advice please.

Thanks.

Answer
Hi Molly hun,

It is not fair to you to be asked of such a responsibility. He needs professional help. He can't do it on his own,99% addicts can't do it by themselves. There is not a lot you can do and thats the truth-he has to want to do it and it is totally unfair to ask you to help him.

Talk is cheap-I had heard it all before with my ex who was a Heroin addict and I have also heard it from others with the same predicament. The promises are there but more often than not its lip service. Molly it is not fair to you. I know I keep saying it but it is the truth.

To come off it there is a Heroin substitute called Methadone and can only be dispensed by a Doctor. Tell him to get in touch with his local Drug and Alcohol Treatment Team and they will give him the help he needs. Yes now he is only taking Heroin to feel normal-that is true so he now needs medical intervention of the nature I described above.

You said it yourself-its killing you and Molly there is absolutely nothing you can do to help him and in the end you will be worn out and dragged down.

A way to find out if he is using is to look at his eyes. If he has used the pupils of the eyes will be the size of a pin head-that is the sure fire way to tell. He can say all he likes that he hasn't used but the eyes cannot lie.

I know you love him but there is nothing much you can do. He can't do it on his own-he is only fooling himself and you and he needs to get into treatment. Again-the local Drug and Alcohol Community Service.

I wish you all the best and anymore you wish to ask then I am here.

Caroline.