Expert: Jacqui - 3/14/2008

Question
Hi,
  My dear friend (ex-boyfriend) has me worried. He used to have a problem with heroin years ago. After he gave that up he ventured into cocaine, then crack. Thus why we aren't a couple, its caused alot of fighting...we are best friends though. I was at his house the other day and found a bottle of Mecke's reagent in his room. (I still have the urges to look thru his drawers even now)...I googled later what this stuff was and now I am terrified. I just kept finding posts that said it is used to identify heroin and other drugs. I am in a panic and I don't know what to do. I am afraid he is going to do heroin soon. I thought he was doing OK--he is about to leave town in 6 weeks to go on a major hike for several months...I just cant see him messing around with heroin before this journey. Is there some other reason an addict would have this stuff? I think I am fooling myself thinking that maybe there is. I don't lnow if I shouyld confront him or not. i am so scared he could overdose. I really need some advice how to handle this situation. I love him so much. He suffers from depression too..

thanks,
m

Answer
Hi M,

I guess there are a couple of things to consider.  If you do confront your friend, he is likely to be angry that you have gone through his things, and in some respect, he has a right to these feelings.  When someone stops using drugs, they often feel negative about themselves, and by you not trusting him, I guess that emphasises this belief.  I hadn't actually heard of Mecke's reagent, so I googled it.  There are a few possibilities, yes it is possible that he has it to use to test heroin, or there may be another reason.  

I would ask yourself why you want to confront him.  Yes, the danger of overdose is real, and so are other life dangers associated with things we do all the time, such as drinking alcohol or driving a car.  You may want to simply ask him how he is going in general.  Confronting him about his drug use is unlikely to make him feel any better about himself, or want to stop - it may make him feel that he cannot seek support from you at all.  Perhaps you could check in with his general wellbeing and offer to support him if he is having any problems and to be a sympathetic ear.  Then, if he does want to stop using, and he is having problems, then he can call on you for support.

Good luck and stay safe,

Jacqui