AboutCrystal Expertise I can answer questions on substance abuse and addiction as well as possible ideas for abstinence and groups. I have been a substance abuse counseling specialist for 5 years. I cannot give medically diagnose but can give accurate advice and helpful ideas.
Experience I have been a substance abuse counselor for five years and have detoxed clients off of all drugs and alcohol.
Education/Credentials I have a minor in addiction,an A.A. in Juvenile Justice and am working on my B.A in Criminal Justice with addiction. I have worked with doctors who specialize in medical detox and have 10 years nursing field experience.
Expert: Crystal Date: 4/3/2008 Subject: my fiance is an heroin addicted
Question My fiance has been using drugs since a very early age, he is only 22 and already has a son and an ex wife. He went trough a lot of things in his life, and due to the fact that he was always surrounded by the same "friends", I guess his way to cope with the pain was with drugs. He went to rehab on 2006, and completed a 15 mo program about a year ago. He go out of there but came back to a very heavy and depressing environment, his ex put him through hell, and eventually, about 6 months after he got out of the program, he started using again. We met on december last year, and we felt in love the first time we met. He is a wonderful person and I love him with all my heart. I don't know much about drugs, and he never told me how bad his case was, so I didn't noticed he was using. It started to get real bad about 3 weeks ago when he got fired. He always played me very well tho. But this weekend I got a phone call from his mom, and she was worried. We talked a lot and she opened my eyes. I went through this things and found the needle. It was the worst weekend of my life. The good thing is, the people at the program loves him, and they accepted him back this monday. He promised he wanted to get clean, he was happy because he couldn't take it anymore.
I am devasted and scared. I feel like I also need therapy and help. I feel so lonely and lost, trying to live day by day. I just found out I won't be able to speak to him for a month, and probably won't see him for 4 months, that's how the program works.
I am sorry for the long message, I don't know how to cope with the pain. I am writing him endless letters, and I just don't know how to support him and be strong at the same time. Of course I am happy and I understand he needs help, but it wasn just very unexpected to me.
What should I do now?
Answer Tati,
I am so sorry that you are going through so much, it is an awful big shock to find something like this out and especially out of the blue. I would like to see you go to an alanon meeting to get some support, they have them everywhere. Call the program he is in and ask them to steer you in the right direction. It will help you to understand some of what he is going though as well as what you are feeling right now. I am sure you are probably feeling a million different emotions right now and sometimes all of them at once and it is overwhelming no matter who you are or how strong you are. It is ok to feel how you feel right now, the anger,fear,sadness and loneliness as well as hopelessness. It is all part of the addiction and it affects us when we love those who suffer with addiction. Just keep writing him, support him as much as you CAN and take care of YOU, get into some self help groups and when it time to see him you will be better equipped to talk to him and understand how to approach him as well as how to deal with how you feel.
Does that make sense and does it answer your questions at all?
