AboutDaniel A. Toth Expertise Any questions related to:
drug abuse,recovery and
opiate withdrawal.
Friends and family questions are also welcomed- however there's very little I can suggest if the person has no willingness to change.I will only answer NON- PRIVATE questions as my objective is to help as many people as possible- use a fake name.
PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT QUESTIONS REGARDING DRUG TESTS OR HOW LONG YOUR DOPE WILL STAY IN YOUR SYSTEM! My energy is directed at those wishing to stop self destructing.
Experience Fourteen years active addiction;Eleven years to cocaine and heroin. I've used every drug I've known about except PCP
Any comments are from personal experiance, and do not necesarily reflect any programs.
SEE UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS STORY!
This was for an article in a teen magazine hence the youth perspective:
I was a good kid. A diligent student with a 3.5 GPA through 9th grade. Now I was somewhat shy and didn't have a lot of friends. I discovered that by smoking weed I had instant friends. It was great at the time. All of a sudden I knew all these people, was getting invited to parties- hanging out after school getting high. Pretty soon getting high at lunch and even before school and then ditching school all together. In the beginning it was the social activity, not the "high" that was the major attraction. I just knew I would stop smoking it soon, perhaps after I got a cool girlfriend. Well then I started really enjoying the high- Having a bad day? Forget about in and get stoned. The parents getting on my case? Forget about it and get stoned. This girl I really like doesn't know I exist, better just get stoned. I found a way to great way to cope with all my problems. Well my grades started dropping, my hobbies such as all ocean activities and sports where only done high and then slowly not at all. Nothing was "cool" or important except getting high. With or without my friends. Then I was introduced to Meth or "crystal" Would I have considered it if not for my weed habit? Of course not. Plus I am just going to try it this one time. Wow! Now I could easily talk to girls. In fact I could talk and talk for hours to anyone about anything. And you know I'm one cool, smooth dude. Man I feel good. Then after it wore off I would struggle with depression and smoke a lot of weed until I got more meth. Now high school was over. I had no ambition for college but I did work in the family business. I still could hold a job with these habits. Now a friend tells me about this drug (heroin) that is just like pot except there’s no "burn out" He doesn't address it as heroin but a harmless sounding slang name. I observe him and his friends smoking this brown powder for months. They seem to be having a good time. They don't die. In fact there having more fun than I am. I wanted to try it. Just once, too see what it feels like. I would never try it again. Again it was the new friends at first and then the drug that became the major attraction. But it was o.k. because I'm going to never smoke it again after this next time. Oops, I did it again. O.K. but next week I'm going to quit for sure! Now the heroin made me feel nice, but the cocaine smoking was awesome. Plus no crash because I'll just smoke a little heroin. Before too long I was injecting a cocaine and heroin solution (speedball) into my veins as often as I could. Working did not accommodate my lifestyle. How could I work anyway in heroin withdrawal? I had to get some dope! Let’s see, my family has disowned me, I've sold everything I ever had. I've robbed every friend or family member than I had contact with. What am I going to do? Some how I got my fix every day. Not once but three or four times average. But it was still o.k. because I'm going to quit, maybe even tomorrow after I get high. I went for years thinking this way. I've been arrested many times. I even admitted myself many times to detox to get over the addiction but found myself planning my next high before I even left. I just couldn't cope with life. I didn't know how. But that won't matter, as soon as I get my fix everything will be alright. And it was..., for a little while. At this point I had long stopped kidding myself. I knew I was a hopeless addict. In fact three of my close friends overdosed and died. Another got sent to prison for years, and none of these guys did anything I didn't do. I knew I was on a dead end course to jails, institutions or death. I would put myself into one recovery home after another only to leave to get high. Why? I wasn't ready to admit I was completely powerless over my addiction and my life had become unmanageable. Only after I completely surrendered was I ready to listen to suggestions from the wonderful people in Narcotics Anonymous. (twelve step program) Today I enjoy many blessings of recovery. I have a wonderful family that loves and trusts me. I work every day, pay bills, support myself and even help others where I can. I love to travel and do as I can afford to. I still have problems but today I don't escape with artificial substances. I have learned coping skills, and realize that life isn't always wonderful but it could be a heck of a lot worse. I don't want to wake up one day an old man, and wonder what I could have been. I'm going to find out! You see, I'm one of the lucky ones and am extremely grateful for that. UPDATE 5/24/2005: Relapsed with painkillers about one year ago, and have been struggling since. I have about 30 days clean as of today 5/24. It's no big mystery/shocker. I stopped doing what I needed to do (program) and made a stupid decision. A couple vicodins woke up the dragon. I'll be ok if I do what I did to get the five yrs. Good luck to all of us! 2/14/06 Doing really well today (one day at a time). I also went through and am still very much going through the most difficult thing I ever have without using any drugs. Not hiding from emotional pain today by artificial means but rather accepting my emotions as natural and moving forward. I'm focusing today on not denying my emotions but acting constructively despite. I realize today that any artificial numbing may help in escaping short term pain but then complete facilitate suffering. Today I recognize my self destructive habits.
Question Hello Daniel
My name is Hilda. I am thirteen years old. My boyfriend is also thirteen. he was born november 23, 1994. I am very concerned because he smokes weed and cigarettes. He has been smoking since he was nine years old. He has stopped smoking for the past three months but recently, he started smoking again. he smokes now about once a week but it used to be a pack for three days. all his friends smoke and they offer him cigarettes. he wants to stop but he admits he's addicted and he asked for help. his mom and grandpa allow him to smoke so that doesn't help. he asked ME for help and i don't know what to do so that's why i am begging you for help. he's so young and i don't want to feel guilty if something happens. I'm asking for his behalf. Please please help if you can. i appreciate it. God bless you. Thank you.
Answer Hi Hilda-
What a caring, sweet little girl you are!
You say "i don't want to feel guilty if something happens." Hilda- don't ever feel guilty for someone else's actions- that makes absolutely no sense.
Here's the main thing- in fact it's an extremely important lesson you'll benefit from for the rest of your life. You cannot change another person. Only he can do that. You can offer support and encouragement but that's it. He has to be the one that does it. It's the only way it will work.
Here's the thing. Smoking is a trap. If you think it's cool- it will be. Is it? How can a slow early death be cool? Smoking is stupid and makes no sense. If you think smoking helps you relax- it does. If you think it helps you when you're bored- it does. When I smoked I felt this way. When I tried to quit and still thought the cigarette had a benefit- I was miserable and would go back to smoking. I had to slowly erase the brainwashing. First I had to sweat out the nicotine withdrawal which is physically addictive ( I was a heavy smoker- 1 1/2 packs a day for over 20 years.) I called that killing the little monster. Meanwhile working on the big monster and the harder part- the brain washing in my head. The mental part were I thought smoking was good. Today I realize smoking completely sucks. Smoking is boring! Smoking causes me stress- it does not help me relax. When I see someone smoking today- I feel sorry for them. I do not envy them. You see I had to reverse the brainwashing. I am not giving anything up, I am not depriving myself. I gave myself one of the best gifts- better health.
Tell your BF what I told you. He may not be ready to quit regardless of what he says. You need to make a decision. Are you going to share your life with someone that does self destructive things? Do you deserve better than that?
P.S. If you were my daughter- I would tell you you're to young right now for a BF. But you sure are special. I can tell.
