Expert: Hector Manuel Rodriguez - 10/9/2009

Question
My boyfriend is close to 40 and he had told me that he's recovering for a year now from alcohol and cocaine. He said he was in rehab before but he started back with cocaine. The last 6 months he has been falling into deeper depression and is becoming more withdrawn (which is his bipolar problem I thought). Besides that he is very obsessed about the food he eats (I figure thats his way to deal with his addictive behavior).
I've known him just over a year and ever since I've known him I've noticed his nose sometimes runs but he says its cause he burned it up real bad (the doctors are surprised he is not dead).His eyes do not look dilated. He has no medical with his new job, so I'm pretty sure he is not taking any of the stuff that helps recovery.

I'm scared to not answer when he calls me but I was told by a doctor to let go until he gets help (for his extreme bipolar). I don't know what to do. I've suggested free clinics and he even said he needed to go back to rehab cause he felt like he was going to slip back, but that he has to work. He is So sad! I don't want to be the last straw.

My questions are:
Do you think he is using his drug of choice again?
Is there anyway I can know this with all his other things going on? Should I follow doctors orders?
(He's trying SO hard, I can tell, I really don't think he is)

Answer
Hello there.
Thanks for reaching out!

We are dealing with a DUAL diagnosis here.
on one side we have his mental condition and on the other his reactivaction of addiction.

Addiction and mental disorders are the worst combo believe me.

By what I can read from your story he is having a very hard time with both of his conditions and if it is the case that he lives alone, we have a big problem here.

Based on your story he has the behavior of an addict with depression.

We all know we have to work in order to live but recovery should be a priority, not an option.

If he has all the tools and do not use them, he does not really want to recover.

We addicts, when active, could be the perfect actors and performers and can manipulate people easily.

You can purchase a drug test at the drugstore and have him tested if you have doubts.

Once you have the answers you want and offer him all the resources that are reachable to him,,,,just let go until he gets help or you will end up into a vicious circle.

If you need to talk some more, I'll be here for you.

Blessings.