Expert: Peter L. - 11/28/2009

Question
My wife has been taking prescription pain pills for the last seven years.I know she is addicted.All of our arguments were over this she would run out of her 60 pill script after 4to5 days then seek them out else where.I called our family doctor after our ten year old daughter was hurt an received some Tylenol 3. My wife gave maybe 2 pills and took the rest. So I told our family doctor about everything she was taking 14 or more pills a day she slept allot stayed up all night allot quit doing much around the house. After we visited our doctor and he recomended in patient or out patient treatment she started crying and said is there any other way?He told her we could try anti depressants and a steroid to help with the withdrawals. 3 weeks later she said that she wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted a divorce. I moved out she already has another boyfriend and has introduced him to our three young children. I'm afraid she will never get help now I don't know what to do please help!!!

Answer
rj,

Well, you know she's addicted, anyone who observes the situation knows she's addicted, but the most important person to know, your wife, doesn't!  You are not alone in this difficult situation.  Opiates (opioid pain meds, heroin) create enormous addiction and dependence.  An addicted person makes the pursuit of their substance and its use the most important aspect of their lives.  Usually, only severe consequences developing from the use (financial, family, employment, legal problems, etc.) will derail this obsessive, out-of-control lifestyle.

It appears she was terrified by the prospect of treatment.  I wonder if she was actually terrified of the prospect of having to stop use of the opiates.

Your children may be in jeopardy as a result of her addictive behavior.  The boyfriend is almost certainly using drugs also.  To protect your children you may have to seek advice from your local child/family protection agency.  You may also have to determine your legal rights in the matter, but the family protection agency will probably have a lot to say about the situation.  You could, in an extreme situation, be asked to have the children move in with you.

I think the most important issue now is the protection and safety of your children.  She may get help only when required to by the legal system, and that will come about when she gets in trouble.  It's hard to say when that will happen, but it's likely.

It might be helpful for you to attend an Al-Anon meeting. You should be able to find one in your area via the internet.  It might also be a good idea for you to get counseling to help you deal with the very difficult emotions you are going through.

Best wishes,
Peter