Expert: Veronica C. Yost - 2/11/2009

Question
hi
this is regarding my boyfriend whom i kow for the last 3 years and when i met him i knew that he was doing weed for 5 years and when i met him he promised me that he will quit.i gave him time for 8 months and he shows some improvement like he used to so it daily before he met me but in that 6 months he reduced a little bit, for eg-he used to do it only on weekdays and maybe thrice in weekdays..and after that it became worse..we shifted out home and moved in an apartment where his doping companions were also residing..and matter became worse he always used to be with them and i had to letrally fight with him to be with me or spend time with me..he never wansted to spend time with me and he has beaten me up atleast 50 times in the kast 3 yeras and at times he is so brutal that i have injuries..there were times where he has beaten me with a belt coz i asked him not to go to his friends home and he has slappped me and kicked me on the road when i have fought with him not to go to his friends home and dope and basically he is very irritaed when he si not taking the drug..like when he wakes up in the morning he is very irritated and when he takes it he is all ok...he is very calm and sweet to me...and 1 year ago i moved out and was living iwth my mom and i thought that he will reform coz he always used to tell me tat i never gave him speace and in at the end of it, he just became too worse and was doing it too much with his friends...and he also went upto the extent of cheating on me..and i also have a doubt if he is really an addict and if he can veer leave it..coz he smokes one or 2 joint a day and in the weekends its about 4-5 joints...is this the dosage of an addict? and does he get angry coz of the drug use has affreted his brain or is it genetical? and do you think doping has affected his emotions and he has no feelings fr anyone? can such a guy be happy with any gal?

Answer
Hello,
The answer is no he is not an addict.  He is an ass.  Some people are predisposed to be being abusers.  This is a learned behavior.  I did speak with someone I know who smokes 50X more pot than than and he said the exact same thing I am telling you here.
Stop worrying about him.  Let him live his life and you go live it somewhere else.  At 18 I married a man who beat me everyday for 3 years and there was no hiding it.  
Hopefully you will leave before this escalates any further.  My God there are millions of men in the world, go find another one.  Unless you think you deserve to be hit.?

Feel free to reply to me.  Best of Luck.
Veronica