Expert: Veronica C. Yost - 2/23/2009

Question
my best friend is 23 years old, and she has been addicted to ecstasy for almost 4 years and i am afraid she's going to  try something more stronger to increase her high and become a drug attack on the streets. Yesterday was her first time asking me for my help and i want to help her. I know that she won't go to rehab, so what are other ways i can help her myself, or some type of advice? this is my first time dealing with someone like this.

Answer
Hello Patricia,
 I am going to get very long winded her so bare with me :)

 First: you must know a few facts about this drug.  Like all drugs the brain will become addicted to it for the sole reason of serotonin.  It stops producing it thus causing the user to FEEL as though they NEED it.
 Second: X is not addictive.  X is 40% pure, 40% being the operative word here.  It is never pure.  The other 60% is and can be cut (like most drugs) a combination of Heroine, Cocaine and substances like rat poison.
 Third: she has the need to use additional drugs to come down (which is not possible) because she needs to replace the serotonin.  It all boils down to that.  As with every addict, we are/were dependant on this chemical that is naturally produced.  We get desperate and WILL live on the streets.  I got so bad (my addiction was pure cocaine 100%) I lived on the streets, with drug dealers, arrested by state, local and D.E.A. officers, I didn't care.
 Fourth: you're not dealing with (again) X.  Your friend has become addicted to harder drugs without even knowing it.  The damage caused by the continued use of any drug is irreversible.

This undertaking is not going to be easy.  It requires 24hour "observation".  She CAN'T do any of the following:
1. Go anywhere alone, no driving
  alone, bus, bike, walk etc
2. Make phone calls un-supervised
3. Be trusted
4. Have contact with anyone she knew
  in "her world".  Delete phone #'s
  from her cell.
5. Trust her own thoughts
6. Drink any type of alcohol
7. Do this alone

It is great that she wants help.  I wanted it too but what she was really saying is, "I am coming down so bad, I need it, I feel lost (without it)."  I did the same thing and that is exactly why.  Every addict has 1 maybe 2 moments in their addiction that something left in their brain is trying to save itself.  We want to be done with it but our brains will fight us every inch of the way.  Full recovery NEVER happens.  Once and addict always an addict.  Sounds harsh but it is true.  I could never go pick up and smoke crack "just one more time" because I am an addict.  It is just like an alcoholic.  Addicts WILL try to replace one addiction for the other, usually it is alcohol.  We try to take the pain of losing the drug by covering it up with another.  Very normal but wrong.  Don't allow her to drink.  She must commit to letting you help her.  YOU must be strong especially if you do not live in a very rural area.

All of the things I told you are absolutely necessary.  Not one thing can skipped or slipped over.  If she stays with you, don't trust her.  We lie, steal and are very sneaky.  I'm sorry if this
all sounds harsh but everything is true, every addict is the same.  
She will become angry, agitated, rude, distant (all because she is thinking about the drug, pushing you away to get it) and depressed.  It will not be easy for her or you.  It can take 6 months to a year for the desire to become manageable.  Typically you should go with the longer time.  And at some point she will seem fine but in fact she isn't.  It takes a long time to stop plotting on how to get high.  When I decided to move myself into a place 40 miles for the world my friend would ask me, "If I had a pipe and crack on this table would you do it?".  He tells me that he say a slow change in my response.  First I would hesitate, then slowly more confidently would say, "No.  I don't need that crap."  Try this with her after several months.  Gauge her answers.

Keep this in mind also. All most all addicts slip.  Relapse maybe once.  But do tell her it will never be something she can do again and she must agree to all of your conditions.  And for you, please recall as many "bad memories" for her.  Talk about them all the time.  We all must have something to cause us to stay away from the drug.  I used losing my family, friends, all my money, my home, car, pets and my son.  I use (always) being so high that I made my own child (he was an adult) smoke that crap with me because I didn't want to hide it from him.  Thank God he hated it.  THAT my dear is how bad it can get.  And we will steal, rob and hurt other for drugs.  

If you have any other questions you can ask or I can give you my private e-mail if you would like it.  Any help I can offer, anytime.

God Bless and Good Luck.  You will be giving an amazing gift back to your friend.  Her life.

Veronica