Expert: Veronica C. Yost - 3/21/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi Veronica,

It seems there is a "cap" on follow-up questions I can ask through "Ask an Expert".  I have read your last email to me and I realized I was a FOOL for expecting anything except "0" or "shit" from my former boyfriend/user.  I hope you know who I am based on my email...as I tried to write back with a question, but was told "I was forbidden" go figure... only non-using people ever have conditions put on them, whether the law or others....only rat ass using addicts get away with everything...pretty funny huh?

ANSWER: I have had some follow up 6 or 7 times.  Sorry that happened to you.  I know you've been through enough.  As far as addicts getting away with everything...not always even though it seems to be the case most of the time.  It is easier to take the easy path than to struggle and take the hard road (like you).

So don't feel like it was you with this website, had to be a glich.  Smile Carla you seem to be a great person doing her best to weed through the "crap" :)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hey Veronica,

So glad you did get my e-mail.  Thank you for the kind words as always...much appreciated.  Sorry if I sounded somewhat "mean or nasty" or perhapse ungreatfull earlier...not so.  I am SO very happy that mediums exist like "Ask an Expert" for those of us out there just pounded down from life and struggling to exist.  For those of us who don't hide behind drugs or sex or stealing to ease our own pains.  I just can't get my arms or mind around the fact, especially in today's day and age, all that is facing each and everyone one of us who is breathing and living, trying to survive (some of us moment by moment, some hour by hour, some week by week) to eat, sleep and keep a roof over our head and there are so many, so many addicts out there, running about, selling, stealing, robbing, using drugs to pleasure themselves, even if for just a moment at times...willing to do everything and anything for 1 dollar and they don't see, care, have empthay for those "out there" the "out casts" the stupid "jerks" trying to by a head of lettuce for 79cents to feed a family of 4 and one of those a child with autism or retardation....  I can't comprehend the selfishness of USE when there are so many of us just wanting a place to sleep (soundly) who never did a "wrong" at all, not in the law's eyes OR in the eye's of another onlooking citizen???  How cruel is the drug world Veronica??? Really??? I Really need to put this demond to rest.  I gave my last dollar to "HIM" because he needed cig's for his trip....I was saving the dollar to by a pack of macaroni to eat...but, I gave it to him thinking he'll make it OK and remember me (he made "MY DOLLAR" seem so important to his well being...that I gave it to him)....what a F&^%NG looser I AM.  He's gone, never paid a fine and took my dollar too.  I know YOU are trying to "give back" in some way, by doing this "Ask an Expert" for all the "so called bad you did" in your past and I applaude you, truely I do...but where does the selfishness REALLY end and where does the Healling really start Veronica?????   Thanks for listening and may God ALWAYS bless you and you have blessed me.  Thank you

Answer
The world of drugs is extremely cruel.  It destroys everything it touches, families and the ones we love.  The addicts are very selfish especially during the full blown addiction.  You can't blame yourself or feel you are stupid, a loser or a jerk.  You did what you felt you should do at the time.  And you are not alone in the lack of selfishness.  Please stop thinking you are a loser.  You are taking his wrong doings and reflecting them back on yourself-making it your problem.
Where does the selfishness end?  Sometimes it never does.  Some never heal.  (with regards to the addict)  Your friend may never feel remorse for is wrong doings.  Sometimes guilt itself can keep us from ever reconnecting with those we hurt along the line.  If he has stopped using and is a "cocky" person as you stated, he may be to embarrassed to admit his wrong doings.  But be certain he knows what he has done and you can not blame yourself for his actions.  I don't know how to stress that enough.
Keep your chin up-sometimes our rewards are not always given on earth.  The Devil makes the road of the wicked easy to travel.