Expert: Crystal - 3/16/2009

Question
I here this a lot at meetings and from others in recovery: "You have to change
everything." Can you please tell me what this means? I do not understand and
when I ask all I get are generic answers that seem to circle around and
around. Sometimes they make it sound like I have to move out of state,
change my name, hide from my family, and completely reinvent myself. I
don't want to reinvent myself; I want to get back to the old me before I was
using. I've been clean for a couple months now, and I understand I need to
change my old habits and behaviors, but a lot of the input I get at meetings
when discussing my thoughts and feelings is "You have to change
everything." I'm getting sick of hearing it, and if you could explain exactly
what "everything" entails, I could understand what they mean and get
working on my recovery.

Answer
Charley,

I know it can be difficult and frustrating when all you hear is "you have to change EVERYTHING" and I hear this a lot. Think of it this way, think about a regular day in during your addiction, think about what habits you formed around your addiction, what you did that would trigger you to use or want to use, think of the environment you were in when using, the people you hung out with and even things you would wear. Sight, smell and emotion and stress trigger those to want to use again and you will see this as you get farther in your sobriety; you will see that certain memories and emotions for those things will trigger you to crave the feelings you had when you used and you will have to find a way to replace each thing with something healthy. I have known people who have had to change jobs and make all new friends and even move just to maintain sobriety. Not that I am saying that you need to do that but I am giving you examples.
Have you ever watched the movie 28 days? It is a movie about addiction, it has a fun twist to it so it won't bore you and it is a real way to get the feel of what things you need to be aware of. Does this make sense?
I hope this helps. Let me know if you need anymore suggestions or help.
Take care.