Expert: Veronica C. Yost - 3/10/2009

Question
Hi, I'm 19 years old and my exboyfriend is 21. I started dating him back in highschool but he started doing coke and pills which led us to break up. I was always there when he wanted me to come back to him. Well over the past year he was dating someone else and resorted to shooting up heroin and smoking crack. Him and his girlfriend broke up and once again he came back to me and I finally talked him into rehab. He went to rehab for 2 weeks and was clean. One night he decided he wanted to shoot up again and he stopped breathing. He was taken to the hospital and had to be resuscitated. After this he was living in a half way type house until he recently got kicked out for who knows what. He is 30 days clean but still says he has the desire to shoot up.

I made the decision 2 days ago to get away from him. I feel that I need to stop all contact with him because he isnt better yet and I can't hurt myself anymore. But he puts the guilt trip on me. He says that he wanted to be with me because I am the only thing that has ever stopped him from doing drugs and I will be the only person that he will stop for, but yet he still talks to his ex gf who watched him shoot up heroin everyday. I just don't know if he will get better and it hurts me so bad whether I'm with him or not with him. I feel like he is going to continue to relapse forever and is going to kill himself one day. Do you think I made the right decision by getting away from him for the time being? And also do you think he will relapse since he still has the desire to do heroin? I feel like since he actually stopped breathing and was brought back to life that should have been a life changing experience for him. I'm just so scared to get involved with him again because I can't handle him using drugs like this. I want to be there for him because I truly want him to get better, but I can't stay around for this whole process and get shit on in the end..If you could tell me your thoughts I would appreciate it.


Answer
Hello Leah,
 Of course I don't think you made the wrong decision.  It is good to hear that you are trying to do what is right for you.  Getting involoved with any addict is never good.  It is best to hope he does better from afar.  You can be his friend and try to support him but it to is not a good idea.  Addicts are users of people.  He will use you for what you can do for him, mainly money.  Addicts are in love with their drugs, throwing anyone away that would compromise their high.  
 My thoughts are this...you are a young girl with your whole life ahead of you.  Watching about 40 episodes of COPS or INTERVENTION and see what your life would be like with an addict.  Let his parents or relatives deal with him.  Go enjoy your life because it is way to short to be worrying about that mess.

 Hope I helped.  You may ask more quesitons if you need to.

God Bless-Veronica