Expert: Crystal - 3/30/2009

Question
My husband had recently come clean about a percocet promblem, he had been taking about 30 a day. I didnt know of his addiction and I feel stupid and blind for not realizing it. He had surgery about 2 years ago on his spine which has gotten worse.. Which caused the addiction to the pain meds he felt he couldnt have a quailty of life and do anything without them. But with his recent recovery (3 weeks) he has shut out his family he says he needs to take care of himself and cant be bothered with his family, Is it good or normal for an addict to shut out loved ones. He tells me that I need to get help and go to meetings, and I cant. I dont understand addiction. I cant go to meetings, is there anything I can do alone to help me.. pamphlets to read anything I am desperate to understand and its really having a negitive affect on my life. I am at wits end with all of this and ready to throw in the towel and say its too much. I love my husband with all my heart and have always been told to love em is to let em go. He has recently been spending money as if there is no tomorrow and lying about it, purchacing things like motor cycle, 4 wheeler, new truck stereo system. It feels like he is switching the addiction from drugs to spending. I dont know if I am strong enough to understand this but I do love him with all my heart and so do the children.

Answer
Angel,

This is so difficult and I am sorry that you have to go through this.
When you say that he is clean, does this mean he went to rehab?
There are alanon meetings offered for loved ones of addicts offered if you are interested in that but if you aren't then I would look up information on opiate addiction, what to expect after detox and what to not tolerate. It is not uncommon for someone to exchange one addiction for another but it is not healthy and should be dealt with as soon as it is recognized. He doesn't seem like he is in a rational state of mind if he is shutting out his family and being selfish but what do you see as a resolution to this?