Expert: Caroline West - 3/7/2009

Question
My 24 y/o son has been using pretty much anything for the past 5 years.  He started with pot, then crack and then acid, cocaine and also robitussen. He has been in and out of rehab 8 times. He's been to the psych center at least 7 times (each time a week). He has been to 2 halfway houses. He has bipolar as well. The rehab he's been to is a dual diagnosis facility. Each time he promises the world, the counselors say he's ready, he feels better, comes out and uses again until some horrible crisis happens and he's forced to go back again. (He also is a diabetic). His father and I are divorced but we deal with this as a team.  His brother is a good guy (21 y/o) who's in college and has been severely hurt over the life and death situations that my son has been into. After being in rehab this many times and having this much help offered to him, does it do any good for him to keep going back? He was scheduled to go back this week but changed his mind because he said he could recite the whole program by heart and they can't tell him anything he hasn't already heard. My feeling is that it does stop him for 30 days and when he comes out there's always hope he will move forward and stop.  Is it worth the money, time, effort to send him back or is he right? He thinks he can do it on his own because he can go to NA meetings and he already knows how to work the steps. I don't think he can.

Answer
Hi Sharon,apologies for the time in getting back to you.

I can imagine only too well how much of an impact this is having on you and your entire family. I'll look at this from both you and your familys point of view and that of your sons.

I totally understand what he means regarding to knowing the therapy inside and out because he has been in treatment so many times and how familiar he is with the steps. What he is not doing however, is putting them into practice. He can 'talk the talk' but he can't 'walk the walk'.

Every time he goes into treatment it will still have a positive impact on him however small. However Rehab is not the only answer and it doesn't work for everyone. I went once and never again and I got my treatment from my local out patient Drug and Alcohol Team where I still had my freedom. The point of me saying this is that the conventional routes do not suit everyone and continuing going in and out of Rehab for your son is not working so there needs to be an alternative route.

I would let him have 'time out' from Rehab and if he has to go into the Psyche ward due to his Bipolar then only admit him if he gets ill. Long term try him with the out patient route. Get him active long term Psychotherapy to identify why he is relapsing,whats behind it,how he can use different coping techniques. Long term on going treatment could work because short stays in and out of Rehab and Hospital are clearly not working for him and not getting to the bottom of things so do explore a long term approach which can look deeper into his problems-thats the best idea I can give you.

Don't give up,there will be an answer and don't give up on him either and just remember that what you are going through-its a whole lot worse for him.

I sincerely wish all of you the best and if you want to write in again feel free. Take care, Caroline