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Addiction to Drugs/Is it time to quit?
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Question
After 26 years of marriage three kids and several attempts at rehab my 50 year old husband is still using crack. Early in the relationship I caught him shooting up with cocaine, later he started smoking it. Now he using again with a combination of Xanax. He has a prescription for 60 a month and is getting extras on the street. I have gotten a lawyer but I always hate to say I give up on him. It is heartbreaking. Yes he has all the hated addict traits...lies, cheats with other women spends all our money and is mentally abusive. Our youngest child is only 11 and am so tired of trying to make this work. My counselor and lawyer told me to give myself a break and realize he cannot be helped. What is your input?
Hey Linda,
The fact that there are young children is reason enough, in my mind, to give yourself and your children a break - neither you nor them needs to be subjected to things like this, and i can only imagine the stress and pressure that you as a mom are going through right now.
My biggest suggestion to you, and I do not want to sway any decision on your mind, is to step back now - you have put up with it for long enough and it is time for you. There are support groups that you can turn to for help and advice such as Naranon, a group for relatives of using addicts - my family attended meetings during my drug use and it helped them immensley in dealing with it and I, as a recovering addict who put my family through many years of hell, am very appreciative of the help they gave them - it made them strong enough to stand up against the lies and the unruly behaviour.
I hope that all is OK with you and if you need any more info or someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me.
Gareth
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Answers by Expert:
Gareth Stubbs
Expertise
Given that I am not a “medical professional” I cannot answer questions on medication and the like, however, I can offer my experiences thereon. I am able to offer answers to questions on the effects of most drugs (street and prescription) as well as advice regarding halting the use of and recovery from active addiction, which plays a very important role in the recovery process as well addressing underlying issues and reasons as to why drugs and the like are abused. I am also able to address any questions regarding dealing with depression, suicide and self-harming, recovery from these and advice on creating a different lifestyle without these afflictions. I can also answer questions from families, friends and partners of drug users and depressed persons, and in addition to this, I have a very good understanding of the 12-step recovery program.
Experience
With a long history of severe clinical depression, self-harming and substance abuse (since the age of 12) I “successfully” managed to lose all that I owned (marriage, home, children) as a result of suicide attempts, numerous hospital visits and severe drug use for 18 years, ranging from street to prescription drugs. I am now about to enter my 8th year free from substance and depression and my 4th year free from cutting myself. I know what it is like to be suicidal and in the grips of active addiction and self harm, how difficult it appears to reach out to people for help, and at the same time, I know how I managed to free myself from the lifestyle and how I continue to create a happy life without the use of medication and constant therapy and the like
Education/Credentials
Life Change Consulting, Master Practitioner of NLP, Advanced Neurological Repatterning, Ericksonian Hypnosis, Master Hypnosis, Performance Consultant, Master Result Coach, as well as a Masters Degree in Life Experience.
Past/Present Clients
Have spoken to school and groups (ages 12-16), ranging in size from 50 to 200 attendees at a time, as well as speaking to parents of school children. Have also worked one-on-one with young adults with successful and continuing results. Currently working on creating and presenting a development program encompassing all areas of change in lifestyle, as well as a magazine and book publication.
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