Expert: Jacqui - 7/18/2009

Question
My daughter is hooked on oxycontin for a number of years particularly worse in the last year.  She had her baby boy almost four months ago who had to be weaned off this drug.  She also has a 12 year old daughter who is well beyond her years.

I'm so tired of the on/off again with my daughter.  Her family physician has been trying to wean her off oxycontin but it just isn't working.  Her house is a disgrace and she is always out of money for important things like food and paying bills.

I feel so caught up in it all and want to help but realize her addiction is beyond my control.  I worry about my grandchildren.

Can she really ever get off this drug?  What really can be done?  We live in Ontario Canada...I am at my wits end.  I am in now in counselling because it is affecting me so much.  I work full-time and it is truly overwhelming to me.  I want to believe there is hope but so far it isn't showing.

Please advise.

Thank you.


J.

Answer
Hi Joan,

It sounds like you are doing all that you can do.  The fact that you are in counselling is great, and that you have contact with your daughter and are helping her with her day to day activities is a really good sign.

I will start by telling you that I come from the philosophy that drug use is something that humans have done for ever and that trying to stop it with punitive measures is futile and only serves to have a negative impact on the person who is using, and their family.

Has your daughter ever tried a methadone program?  I assume that she has, but if not, this is a good option.  I am acutely aware that most parents just want their child 'off everything' but this may not be possible.  Methadone is a legal and safer alternative than buying oxycontin off the street (which I assume she is doing ... I might be wrong).  

Drug dependency is very, very complex and does not exist in a vacuum.  What I mean by this is, the drug is not causing her all of her problems.  If she is getting a measured amount of oxycontin (no matter how she is getting it), this would not make her unable to clean the house or look after her daughter.   I am wondering whether the 'weaning off' is causing her problems.  I know you probably don't want your daughter taking medication forever, but if she is having problem being reduced off the oxycontin, then maybe it is too fast.  Was she on it for a particular reason, or was it more recreational?  

All I can suggest is that there is something more than the drug use going on for her.  I know quite a few people who use oxycontin, methadone, and even heroin, and the main problem (mainly with the heroin) is the cost and the fact that people buy drugs before anything else.  If someone is on a methadone program, they should be able to focus on other things and get their life together.  Does your daughter have any other mental health issues.  I worry that sometimes people see that someone is using drugs, or is dependent on them, and they think that the drugs are causing everything.  The problems associated with drugs are difficult, but there may be other issues, and often people who use drugs don't get treatment for mental health issues because people are so focused on the drugs and not the person!

Joan, I don't think that there is anything else I can say to you.  It is great that you are having counselling.  You need to ensure that you get the right support.  However, if you daughter wants support, that is great, but if she doesn't it is difficult to force it.  

I hope that there is some specific information I an provide you.  Please feel free to contact me if there is anything particular you would like to know.  In the meantime, I acknowledge your frustration ... but as I have said loads of time, if I had a 'cure' for drug use, I would be a billionaire!

Best of luck and please let me know if there is anything else I can do.

Jacqui