Expert: Crystal - 7/9/2009

Question
Hello,

I'm not sure if you are able to help or not, but i am looking for some advice. Over a year ago, i moved out and left my best friend/lover etc..his addiction to heroin and crack and endless relapses had made life very hard. In the end harsh words were spoken by him and i left. He at the time was sleeping with someone else. 6 months later i found out he had moved in with another girl after 6 weeks of meeting her. Obviously, i was very hurt by the whole situation but saw him once briefly in that time and decided to finally cut all contact. a few months later he made some contact which i chose to ignore. Now he is 4 months clean, off methadone and still living with his girlfriend. However, he has mentioned to friends that he would like to see me again and for me to get in contact. My question is, is this a good idea. i'm not sure how much he remembers in the end about what he said, what he did, how he treated me but i remember everything, and I am pretty sure he thinks he has done nothing wrong. Does he want to apologise, is he finally getting clean after 9 years, I don't know what to do and am very confused. I'm fully aware of how he acts and just wonder if this is again more manipulation by him and keeping it all about him. any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer
Ellen,

I think only you can answer this question, you know him best. Do you think he has changed? I am sure he remembers alot more then you are giving him credit for and maybe this is something he needs to do for closure. Follow your gut feeling, not just your heart because one is not always what is best for the other.
Does this help?