Expert: Crystal - 7/2/2009

Question
My boyfriend and I have known each other for over 5 years but it wasn't until 3 months ago that we got very serious. I want to spend the rest of my life with him there is only one problem. Right around the time when we began to get serious he told me he had been using herion/dealing it he told me he hadn't done it in 3 weeks and would never do it again. My boyfriend also suffers from depression and he stopped taking his medicine, right around that time he found his dad is dying from cancer and he began using the drug, hiding it from me after using it again for about 2 weeks he broke down and checked himself into a detox program which would lead into rehab, he made it thru the detox but signed himself out before rehab. he is on probation and when they found out he signed himself out they violated and said he would have to go back to rehab or go to jail hearing this he decided if hehad to go back what was the point of being sober and decided to use again however before anything happened with probation he checked himself into rehab and said he wants to be clean he is to smart for this. I love him i just can't take this cycle is there any hope for him? What should I as the girlfried do?

Answer
Bernadette,

He has to go through detox and inpatient treatment and he needs to engage to make a difference, not just go through the steps. If he has violated his probation they should step in and make it mandatory that he go to rehab and intensive inpatient therapy and if they don't you should go to probation and talk to them about helping him change and ask them to enforce it. You also have to take care of you because if you spend all of your time worrying about him you will lose yourself in the process which is not healthy for you. Make sense?