About Gareth Stubbs Expertise Given that I am not a “medical professional” I cannot answer questions on medication and the like, however, I can offer my experiences thereon. I am able to offer answers to questions on the effects of most drugs (street and prescription) as well as advice regarding halting the use of and recovery from active addiction, which plays a very important role in the recovery process as well addressing underlying issues and reasons as to why drugs and the like are abused. I am also able to address any questions regarding dealing with depression, suicide and self-harming, recovery from these and advice on creating a different lifestyle without these afflictions. I can also answer questions from families, friends and partners of drug users and depressed persons, and in addition to this, I have a very good understanding of the 12-step recovery program.
Experience With a long history of severe clinical depression, self-harming and substance abuse (since the age of 12) I “successfully” managed to lose all that I owned (marriage, home, children) as a result of suicide attempts, numerous hospital visits and severe drug use for 18 years, ranging from street to prescription drugs. I am now about to enter my 8th year free from substance and depression and my 4th year free from cutting myself. I know what it is like to be suicidal and in the grips of active addiction and self harm, how difficult it appears to reach out to people for help, and at the same time, I know how I managed to free myself from the lifestyle and how I continue to create a happy life without the use of medication and constant therapy and the like
Education/Credentials Life Change Consulting, Master Practitioner of NLP, Advanced Neurological Repatterning, Ericksonian Hypnosis, Master Hypnosis, Performance Consultant, Master Result Coach, as well as a Masters Degree in Life Experience.
Past/Present Clients Have spoken to school and groups (ages 12-16), ranging in size from 50 to 200 attendees at a time, as well as speaking to parents of school children. Have also worked one-on-one with young adults with successful and continuing results. Currently working on creating and presenting a development program encompassing all areas of change in lifestyle, as well as a magazine and book publication.
Question where to start I'm so lost right now i've been threw so much with him his been tring to get clean he stay clean about 22 days then he fall back into real bad not sure if hes real e olny stops when he thinks his going to get caught he has to take a pee test ever month here my problem while is tring to get clean he makes me feel like he dosent want me anymore like i am olny good enough to be with when he has drugs in his life and we ave a kid together who loves him more then anything but I'm lost has he only been in my life because i was there and only who stood by him trying to help him find his way he buys everybody love but mine i not OK with see right before he gets high he spends his money on me and my son so when i get mad he thinks i crazy he dose pay for everything rent everything .Is this how it always going to be he has been using since he was 13 smoking crack i think as soon as he takes the test hes going to get high again and balm me because I've lost me job he has to pay for everything this is making him very upset or is he just using me to balm so e can get high help
Answer Hey Kerry
I am so sorry that you are going through a tough time right now, and to be honest with you, there is no easy answer to this question because it is a very difficult situation for anybody to be in.
I can remember when I was using many years ago - the situation was probably very similar, if I was using I was OK, if I was not, then I would be angry and could not understand what was going on as long as I got my fix. Eventually, it was thanks to my ex-wife that I managed to stop for good because she was the one who kicked me out and made me realise what I was doing. Yes it was a very painful lesson to learn and at the time, I was not happy but now I look back and see that it was the best thing that she could do - if she had not said enough is enough and kicked me out after giving me so many chances, then I do not think I would be alive today.
I would suggest that you find someone to speak with who can maybe help you make a decision regarding this, because you and your child need to be safe and living with a using addict like this is not safe for either of you. Maybe find someone from Naranon (like Alanon - family members of using addicts) and they can give you some advice.
I hope that this may give you some help or insight into what to do, and if you need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to get back to me and i will be here for you to listen too.
