Expert: Crystal - 7/9/2009

Question
My 20 year old son has been "asked to leave" his dad's home.  Right now he is with me.  I don't know if I should let him stay with me or make him leave. I don't know where he would go if I make him leave.  He has no car, no job, no money, and his dad just cut him off of his cell phone because he was not paying his part.  He is on probation for drug possession.  He was with a friend that was driving while high and they got pulled over and arrested for a joint in the ashtray.  What do I say to him?  How do I kick him out if he is going to go to one of his drinking/partying buddies?  I am so scared he is going to go to jail.  On one hand I think it would be best - he could get counseling, on the other hand I think it will ruin him for the rest of his life.  I have tried to get him to go to counseling with me, but he refuses.  I know he has to want to stop himself, but I keep obsessing that there has to be something I can do or say to help get him to that point.  Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you. Jackie

Answer
Jackie,

Although as a parent this is one of the single most difficult decisions to make, sometimes allowing them to just fall on their own and giving them tough love is the answer. Allow his natural consequences to take place and let him know you still love him.