About Gareth Stubbs Expertise Given that I am not a “medical professional” I cannot answer questions on medication and the like, however, I can offer my experiences thereon. I am able to offer answers to questions on the effects of most drugs (street and prescription) as well as advice regarding halting the use of and recovery from active addiction, which plays a very important role in the recovery process as well addressing underlying issues and reasons as to why drugs and the like are abused. I am also able to address any questions regarding dealing with depression, suicide and self-harming, recovery from these and advice on creating a different lifestyle without these afflictions. I can also answer questions from families, friends and partners of drug users and depressed persons, and in addition to this, I have a very good understanding of the 12-step recovery program.
Experience With a long history of severe clinical depression, self-harming and substance abuse (since the age of 12) I “successfully” managed to lose all that I owned (marriage, home, children) as a result of suicide attempts, numerous hospital visits and severe drug use for 18 years, ranging from street to prescription drugs. I am now about to enter my 8th year free from substance and depression and my 4th year free from cutting myself. I know what it is like to be suicidal and in the grips of active addiction and self harm, how difficult it appears to reach out to people for help, and at the same time, I know how I managed to free myself from the lifestyle and how I continue to create a happy life without the use of medication and constant therapy and the like
Education/Credentials Life Change Consulting, Master Practitioner of NLP, Advanced Neurological Repatterning, Ericksonian Hypnosis, Master Hypnosis, Performance Consultant, Master Result Coach, as well as a Masters Degree in Life Experience.
Past/Present Clients Have spoken to school and groups (ages 12-16), ranging in size from 50 to 200 attendees at a time, as well as speaking to parents of school children. Have also worked one-on-one with young adults with successful and continuing results. Currently working on creating and presenting a development program encompassing all areas of change in lifestyle, as well as a magazine and book publication.
Question I will be 40 next year. since the age of 15 i have been using drugs in one form or another, the drugs that brought me to my knees was heroin and crack for which i have been in and out of treatment centres from 1995 to 2008, again i find myself addicted to subutex, diazepam, amphetamine and cannibis all of which i use daily, i have an extensive criminal record and am on probation for fraud on two accounts, i have know qualifications and never had much in the line of work since getting kicked out of school at 15, im also in a relationship for nearly 4 yrs now and have a 2yr old daughter and 2 step children, i also have two other older boys from a previous relationship.My current partner knows nothing about my current drug use. I came out of treatment sept, last yr, clean, for about a week. I still keep in good physical condition by going to the gym which i have done for years, mentally however i feel like a wastse of space and feel to end my life, i have had 3 feeble attempts in the past, the only thing stopping me now is solely the children but even then i feel i'd be doing them a favour, i have counselling once a fortnight and my pobation officer is a bitch and i cant face rehab again. What do i do? all i want is to be happy and have a career but i have failed at all college courses i have taken in the past and my partner needs me to work and help support the family, my situation is a lot more complicated than what i have already said i cant go into it all because ill be here forever. What do i do?
Answer Hey Stu,
This is probably one of THE most surreal questions that I have ever received for one simple reason alone - if I did not know better, you could have been "snooping" around inside my head and reading about my life with only a few minor differences, so thank you very much for writing in and sharing because for me, it is a very big reminder of a huge part of my life.
I ain't gonna beat around the bush and offer you nice things and tit bits of information, because right now, I am feeling what you are going through and am going to speak to you like I was spoken to a few years ago when I was restrained to a hospital connected to machines and tubes as a result of a botched suicide attempt that had almost taken my life and left me in a coma for just over a week. They turned to me and said "Next time you try and kill yourself, you won't just end your life, you will end the life of 6 other people because they can't take this anymore" and it made me realise what I had been doing to myself as well as to my family, who really had no idea to the full extent of what was going on in my life because I had been hiding it from them.
I began attending NA meetings and working on myself, but more importantly than anything else, I began to be HONEST - 100% honesty was the only way that I got to where I am today with almost 7 years clean time under my belt and getting my life back on track.
I dont know where in the UK you are, but if you need some help, I am more than happy to offer my services so just let me know. I know that this can be done, and I am living proof that it can be done - I did not have the money to go to formal rehab as I was not in the country at the time so I know what it takes to get through this without drug replacement stuff and all of that.
Remind yourself WHY you want to get clean and look at your children - right now you may not feel like much, but to them and in their eyes and hearts, YOU are an amazing guy that means the world to them and you not being a part of their lives, clean and happy, would be something I could not describe. A few years after I got clean, my son (who is no 15) turned to me and said "I used to be afraid to wake up in case you had done it again and died" - he was 6 or 7 when I started trying to get clean and still remembers it to this day, and hearing him say those words made me realise that the thoughs I used to have of them being better off without me were absolute nonsense because all they wanted was for me to be OK and get better and be their Dad.
