Expert: Crystal - 8/4/2009

Question
My boyfriend currently goes to a methadone clinic to help recover from his addition from oxycotone. Before he went to the methadone clinic he used to want to sleep all day and would be up all hours of the night, until like 10am. Since he’s been going to the methadone clinic I found broses on his arm with like 4-5 needle marks in it and he admitted to me that he had done heroin. Like a month later I was a little brose on his arm about the size of the end of a pen, when I asked him what it was he said that he took a safety pin to his arm when he got mad at me so I would think he did heroin again and get mad. At this point he can’t stand to be around me or my daughter (which we don’t have together). He says that me and my daughter just do what every we want and that we don’t respect him and that everything that happens in our life is mine and my daughters fault. Half of the time I don’t have any Idea why he’s even mad. He has started to be very mean to us and is always leaving at all hours of the night. I want to know what I can do at this point in our relationship to get myself and my daughter help to get over this addiction? I Love him still but I need help to make mine and my daughter’s life better. What do you suggest I do? Does it seen like he is still doing heroin or other drugs?

Answer
Amy,

I am sorry that you and your daughter are going through this. I know it can be hard, addiction affects everyone around it. Have you looked into alanon for yourself and maybe some counseling for the two of you separately and then together? This will help you to deal with the emotions and confusion of not really saying it out loud if that makes sense to you. How old is your daughter? I know this is hard but have you thought about leaving him and just moving on in the best interest of you and your daughter?
It is hard to say if he is using but it sounds like he absolutely could be. If you notice sudden mood changes, that is most likely from the heroin use. It changes the body chemistry in the brain and can be really hard to control. He may just be angry with himself but you can never be too cautious..