About Crystal Expertise I can answer questions on substance abuse and addiction as well as possible ideas for abstinence and groups. I have been a substance abuse counseling specialist for 5 years. I cannot give medically diagnose but can give accurate advice and helpful ideas.
Experience I have been a substance abuse counselor for five years and have detoxed clients off of all drugs and alcohol.
Education/Credentials I have a minor in addiction,an A.A. in Juvenile Justice and am working on my B.A in Criminal Justice with addiction. I have worked with doctors who specialize in medical detox and have 10 years nursing field experience.
Question I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we are expecting a baby in less than a month. When we first met, he was using cocaine and doing pills. He did stop doing both 100% cold turkey or I would not have given him the time of day other wise. Recently he has been sneaky, dishonest, angry and just not himself at all. Might I add he is one of the greatest guys I know. I have never found anyone who has treated me like gold. He does anything and everything for me. He is not just like this towards me he would help anyone who asked for it. But things have changed. I have been finding little saucers of water around our home and he has been acting weird. Recently he got sick and we found out he had hepatitis. He left the hospital AMA. He was just not himself. Finally, when I knew he was up to something I walked in on him purposely to try to catch him snorting pills or coke. But I found him shooting heroin. I lost all control and all I could do was hug him and tell him we needed to get him help. We have a baby on the way and no money for detox at a clinic or rehab. I love him so much and I just want the man back I once knew. I want my best friend back. We just cried all night and he said he has been wanting to tell me about this but he thought I would look at him different. He said he is so happy that I did catch him because he could never of told me about it and now he knows he has to stop. He admits to doing heroin for 2 months, snorting it at first and then recently shooting up. Might I add I know nothing about heroin or any drug for that matter and he told me he was using half a balloon of heroin every couple of days for 2 months. (not a lot right??) IDK..He said he really wants and needs help. He hates himself for doing it and I told him I was here for him and help him as much as I can. The first few days of not having it were okay and he was pretty sick but it is now the 7th day that I know of that he is sober. We have done nothing but fight over the most ridiculous, petty things. I just don't know what to do. I know he needs more help than what I can give him but I thought since maybe he was not doing heroin for very long and not in large doses and really wanting to stop for himself, he would be able to do it all from home. Again, we have no money to get him professional help. He says he knows what his life is like with out the drug and he wants that life back but its hard and he needs help. He said once he goes through the worse part of detoxing and he is better he will never do heroin again because he knows what its doing to him and us and he does not want that. And he does not want to hurt himself. When I try to help he just gets mad at me. He willingly gives me his pay from work and I buy what he needs or give him money when I know it will be used properly. He was fine with it at first but that did not last long. He recently told me he does not want to be with me anymore and I am worried about him and what I am doing wrong. What can I do to save him and our relationship? I want my baby to grow up with a father in her life and to meet the great person I once knew. I told him how much I care and love him, that I want to help and I am fighting this battle with him and I will not lose him to heroin but it seems like the drug is too powerful and is tearing us apart. I know he wants the same thing, I know he loves me and he does not want to do this and he hates himself for trying it that first time because thats all it took. Please, how do I keep him happy, do things right, keep him healthy, alive and apart of my life?
Answer Caitlin,
You need to research treatment centers in your area, look for non-profit and explain to them that you have no money and that you are expecting a baby and see what they can offer you. Right now he is fighting the control issue because even though he doesn't want to use, his body really does and that feeling is what it overpowering him inside. It makes them depressed and they become bitter and hateful without even realizing it. You need to take care of you too because that is alot of stress for you to be dealing with when you are becoming a mommy. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. Maybe reach out to his parents if they are around and/or family members and friends who you can trust and know they will help you.
