Expert: Hector Manuel Rodriguez - 9/23/2009

Question
QUESTION: One of my family members has been addicted to cocaine since he was 18 years old.  He is now 40.  He has fought the addiction and has relapsed a few times but was able to go cold turkey and withdraw on his own. A member of my family told him that they had cocaine. He was unable to resist knowing it was right there in front of him if he wanted it. Now he has become a daily user and is having a bad time trying to stop.  Who is to blame him or the person who knew how bad his addiction is for putting it out there for him to get so easily?

Thank you for your help.

ANSWER: Hello there!
If we had to blame someone, we should blame both parts. One that should have run away in the presence of cocaine and the others for offering him the cocaine knowing that he had an addiction problem.
The situation definitely triggered your family member’s addiction no matter how many years have passed in sobriety.
The most relevant thing to do know is to help him recover from his recently triggered addiction behavior and relapse.
It will be like starting all over again with the recovery process.
Don’t let him live alone, do NOT give him the opportunity to use as much as you can.
He should start psycho-social therapies as soon as possible as well as support groups such as Narcotics Anonymous.
Somebody sober, should make him company until he is mostly recovered and no kind of triggers are present.
If he did it once, he can make it all over again.
Show him unconditional love and support, it helps in a big way.
Note: If necessary, make him move temporarily with another family member to a place where he can have no contacts who may supply him the drug.
If you happen to need more advice, just let me know!!!!


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you so much for your excellent and fast response to my question. I do have a follow up to this.  None of the rest of the family knows any of this. Do I keep quiet and hope that he can recover once again on his own? What about the family member that is supplying it to him?  This would cause severe damage to the whole family.  I am not sure how to handle this.  He has always recovered on his own. Should I wait and see how he does or should I risk the damage this will do to my family?  Can you recover from a daily habit on your own?  

Thank you again for all your help. It's really appreciated!

Answer
In my opinion, you should keep this subject at a private level, not everyone in your family will understand that addicts are still good people but with weakness with several things like drugs and other addictive behaviors.
Is the affected person living with you currently or living alone?
If so, dedicate yourself a 100% to your family member, he needs attention and a loving environment.
You can take him to a rehabilitation facility, there are some free rehab centers like the Salvation Army with their worldwide locations.
Keep him away from any kind of triggers and also completely away from places and people where he can find drugs.
Make sure he carries no money at all and have someone sober to manage his finances.
Although he may not be thinking clearly because of his reactivated addiction, try to explain to him that you need to do certain things in order to save him from addiction so he can understand the main purpose of your actions towards him.
Know your tools and have them handy if you want to help.
1. Rehabilitation facility, short or long term.
2. Do not let him go out on his own, go with him but never endorse his drug use, avoid it at all costs.
3. Use 911 if necessary just in case he gets out of control.
4. Make sure he goes to therapies and support groups meetings but never on his own by now.
Be aware that you have a new responsibility to take care of, be committed.

As a last resource, if you can not handle the situation, share this with another family member you have confidence with or let the family know.
Remember that if you help him to recover you will be saving his life from threatening situations.

His addiction is only one aspect of the terrible things that may happen to him.

I was also an addict who relapsed many times and that resulted in the deterioration of my own health.
Thanks to cocaine I suffered 3 strokes, have partial brain damage, unstable mental conditions, diabetes, fatty liver and kidney problems.
I bet you do not want any of that for him.

Feel free and in total confidence to count on me, always…