Expert: Peter L. - 10/24/2010

Question
My husband (married going on 3 years but together since 2003 with 4 children) has a problem with crack.  He's getting worse again (it was really bad before our kids, and since his Mother's death this year has gotten worse) to the point where he is back to taking items out of our house (tv, computer, etc.) and I either have to purchase our items back or pay to replace them.  He has mentioned rehab (he was in for a month in 2003 and came out and started using).  I would like to see him in a longer care program, however am aware that if he signs himself in, he is able to sign himself out at any point.  Our family is on the verge of disaster because of this.  Our 4 (5 next month) yr old is peeing on herself constantly because she hears most of the arguements.  Our oldest (5 going on 6 next month) has an almost constant attitude.  Our 2 yr old doesn't realize what is going on, but hears the arguing and our newborn gets woke up from the fights.  I'm at wits end - locking him out doesn't do any good because he knows how to climb in the windows, or will wait until I have to walk the dog or take the garbage out to come in.

The one thing I'm wondering is if there is a way I can file for probate on him (guardianship) in order for me to sign him into a facility for treatment where either the doctor would have to consider him stable enough or I would have to sign him out?  We live in Cleveland Ohio and I am not familiar with the laws.  I know my Mom had my Gram probated and committed for psychsis, but I don't know if drugs can be probated, especially without starting a Children's Services case on our family.

Answer
Hi Melissa,

I've never heard of doing such a thing (guardianship) but I suppose it could exist as a possibility.

More likely would be a family court where he could be judged a threat to the family (which he is), though probably you're right that the Division of Children & Family Services would have to be involved.  No doubt there would be action taken, but I can't assure you what that would be.  They (agency personnel) will come at this problem with a desire to protect the kids, not necessarily compel your husband to get treatment.

Also, have you both met with a marital counselor or tried to convince him to attend a session with you?  You might want to bring this to the table with a professional involved.  It's a family issue, but also a marital one.  This could also be the case if you were seeing a therapist yourself, and wanted to bring him in.

These situations are very difficult and I empathize with your plight.  I know in some cases the addicted spouse is ordered out of the house, and when he/she attempts to come back in, the police are called.  In other words, you take action to protect the kids and expect the law will see it your way.  If your husband became belligerent, it might facilitate getting him out of the house, albeit with something akin to domestic violence charges, and he would have a probation officer who would demand he get treatment.  Urine screens would also be taken.  It would be hard for him to avoid consequences then.

Hope this is helpful to you.

Peter