Expert: Jacqui - 11/26/2010

Question
I have been sober from alcohol for 3 yrs now. That
was my problem. Now for the past year as it
progressed itself I find myself taking several
percocets and vicodin a day. I have a wife a beautiful
baby a great job and car and house bla bla bla. And
im spending so much money on what's probly
destroying my liver. It hasn't stopped bills being paid
or a baby being fed but I probly have stopped a
vacation or two. The main problem is im still on
probation from my past so I suffer 3 days before I
see them so I don't fail. I want so bad to seek help
like I did for alcohol but if I reveal this I risk jail. I
want my life back. I can't do it on my own. Please
help. Im crying right now as I write this...

Answer
Hey Matt,

I am so sorry to hear about your distress.  Firstly, I want you to know that just because you are using substances does NOT mean you are a bad person.  Human being have used substances for thousands of years; it has become part of our being.  However, when they  become a problem, it can be really hard for people - especially certain substances like opiates, given the level of stigma towards their use.

It sounds like you have a few different issues - one is that you feel things are starting to slip in so far as you are missing out on some things in your life - however you are also maintaining some things that are important, so it isn't all a disaster.  The other issue is around your parole.  Now I don't know the system enough in the US, and if someone voluntarily came forward to say they had a problem and wanted treatment, it would be seen positively, even if they were on parole (most of the time anyway).  However, you are living in the land of the "War on Drugs" and rational thought has never entered Warondrugsland.  This puts you in a tricky situation.  Personally, I would suggest you make contact with someone local who knows the laws there and who can give you good advice.  There are some Harm Reduction organisations in the US who are very sympathetic to your type of problem, but as I am not sure where you are (i.e.: city/state) I can't direct you to a particular one.  Let me know where you are if you like and I can follow up.  Finally, the issue with your liver - well to tell you the truth, alcohol is going to do far more damage than opiates will.  But if you have had liver problems in tha past, your liver might be vulnerable.  

So, apart from the idea of contacting someone local for advice, I have one more suggestion which is to wean yourself off the pills on your own (if you really can't seek help).  This is not optimal, as medical advice should be obtained in these situations, but if that is absolutely not an option, I am happy to come up with a plan for your reduction.  I would, however, need to know how many pills you are taking, and whether or not you are prepared to reduce them.  If the answer is yes, please contact me with details of how much you are taking each day and if you are taking any other medication.

Matt, stick with it.  I look foward to hearing from you soon,

Jacqui