Expert: Hector Manuel Rodriguez - 2/16/2010

Question
When I was in high school, I went through a period of very heavy drug abuse, and eventually landed in a 28 day rehab program, where the 12 step program was beat into my head. This after having gone through Alateen to deal with my mother's alcoholism. I am now 22 and clean, though I do still occasionally drink. I have become a very responsible adult, have a great support (my fiance), and together we have built our own business and home. My best friend of 2 years, Sheena, tried exstacy (sp?) about 3 months ago. I'll admit that I also had a big battle with the little pills, before we met, and warned her that it was a very slippery slope that will quickly get you addicted. She thanked me for sharing my experience with her, but was determined to try it none the less. Within 3 months she began doing pills daily, to deal with her parents, her job, to meet guys, and "have fun". She eventually stopped calling or seeing me at all. We used to be so supportive of each other, and I know she really looked up to me. Well now about a week ago, she admitted herself into a "rehab facility". I'm not familiar with this place, and we don't talk enough for me to really tell if it was anything like the facility I had gone to in another state. Never the less, she was released five days later "cured". Confused? Me too. So today we got together for lunch, and I told her that I had been hurt by the things she had done and said to me over the last few weeks/months. She pretty much told me that I just need to stay on my toes around her, and make sure not to do anything to "trigger" her behavior, or make her have an anxiety attack. I practically had one just sitting there! When I was released from rehab, I was not cured, I had been detoxed and was undergoing treatment. I was humbled and apologetic to everyone that I had hurt, and wanted desperately to make things right in my life and in the lives of the people I loved. Sheena had no idea what I was talking about. She sat there and manipulated every single piece of our conversation like I was her parents! I feel like I've lost her forever and can't trust her ever again. I want to be there and help her through this, but I can't help her if she's blind to the program. I don't know what kind of help she thinks she got, but I can see her heading straight into using again. She continues to hang out with using friends WHILE THEY ARE ROLLING (yes, this occurred the night after she was released), and say that those situations aren't "triggers" for her. I can't do this. I don't know if I should sit her down and give her a dose of wake up call, or just call it quits. Help me.

Answer
Based on the details that you are giving me, it is obvious that she is not committed to any type of rehabilitation program.
Every single Rehab tells you to change your using friends for other people and she is not doing well with that as well as the manipulative behavior when you talked to her.
We, including myself, must be humble and admit our faults in order to recover and you know that.

We need to make serious ammendments in our lifestyles and towards the people who love us and care about us.

Me, in yor place will schedule up a meeting with her and tell you "how things work", even if she does not talk to you ever again.

In this battle against addiction, everything you can do to save someone is valid, so go ahead.

May your "higher power be with you" now and forever and guide you through the path of light.


Thanks for getting in contact with me and whenever you need me, I'll be around.

Sincerely,

Hector Manuel Rodriguez