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Addiction to Drugs/Guy I was seeing broke it off..is it due to him relapsing on heroin?

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Expert: - 4/8/2010


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I was seeing this guy "Mark" for over a month. We really clicked and he was so sweet and always wanted to see me. One day he told me that he used to do a lot of drugs. And now hes on methadone and never told any girl that. He said that he cant go to rehab b/c he didnt want to lose his job and take time off from work. He said that he was drinking right after rehab last time he was there and then went back to heroin.  That same night he said he had to sell pills and we went to two differnt places and he said that he only does it sometimes b/c he knows how they feel cuz he had been there. That night he was in the bathroom a really long time and i knocked on the door and he yelled at me and said dont ever do that again. His mom came in and asked if he was ok too. Things were going well then one day i went to a bar and told my friend about him and his methadone and how hes doing good. The bartender knew Mark and went back and told him. Mark got mad at me and said he never wanted to tal to me again. He said how could u do that i trusted u. I told him to give me another chance and i was just saying how good he was doing. Things were different after and he didnt see me as much or call and ask me how was my day or act concerned anymore. When i went over i layed on his chest and i couldnt hear his heart beat and he was nodding off. He did it before but i was more aware of it now. He would always say what i cant sleep? He would always sleep on his days off when i saw him. And he was still going to bars and drinking. His cigarette was burning to ashes and i told him to wake up. He nodded out again. His leg was shaking and then his whole body was jumping. I didnt think anything of it. He was getting mad over stupid stuff. We were in a store and some guy was checking me out and i didnt even notice and he was getting SO ANGRY. At a family picnic he yelled at his niece for when the dog was not in the yard. It was unnecesary. I felt likei was calling him all the time and he was losing interest. One night i was watching requiem for a dream and i called him and he sounded out of it. he said he was sleeping. I was telling him about how my grandfater misses my grandma and he said what happend with yur grandma? I said i told u. He got quiet and then said..oh yeah. And then i asked him more questions and he sounded out of it. Was it from sleeping or is he using heroin again? So i called him back b/c i was trying to tell from his voice but dumb me said did u ever steal from your family when u were using. He got mad at me and hung up. The next day he sent me a text saying that he changed his mind about us and said sorry if you dont understand. He called the next dday yelling at me saying that i overthink things and cant go with the flow. And that he hasnt used drugs in years so why would i ask him that. I said i wanted to understand him. He said to ask someone else. And that i shouldnt be comparing himto a movie. So is he using or is this just his personality? Im hurt.

Answer
sorry but Oh my God! Do you really feel like you deserve to be with a person like this? If you are hurt now- just wait and see how you feel later- it only gets worse.
Myself, I wouldn't want to be with a incorrigible liar, drug seller and user but thats just me.

Addiction to Drugs

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Daniel A. Toth

Expertise

Any questions related to: drug abuse,recovery and opiate withdrawal. Friends and family questions are also welcomed- however there's very little I can suggest if the person has no willingness to change.I will only answer NON- PRIVATE questions as my objective is to help as many people as possible- use a fake name. PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT QUESTIONS REGARDING DRUG TESTS OR HOW LONG YOUR DOPE WILL STAY IN YOUR SYSTEM! My energy is directed at those wishing to stop self destructing.

Experience

Fourteen years active addiction;Eleven years to cocaine and heroin.
I've used every drug I've known about except PCP Any comments are from personal experiance, and do not necesarily reflect any programs.
SEE UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS STORY! This was for an article in a teen magazine hence the youth perspective: I was a good kid. A diligent student with a 3.5 GPA through 9th grade. Now I was somewhat shy and didn't have a lot of friends. I discovered that by smoking weed I had instant friends. It was great at the time. All of a sudden I knew all these people, was getting invited to parties- hanging out after school getting high. Pretty soon getting high at lunch and even before school and then ditching school all together. In the beginning it was the social activity, not the "high" that was the major attraction. I just knew I would stop smoking it soon, perhaps after I got a cool girlfriend. Well then I started really enjoying the high- Having a bad day? Forget about in and get stoned. The parents getting on my case? Forget about it and get stoned. This girl I really like doesn't know I exist, better just get stoned. I found a way to great way to cope with all my problems. Well my grades started dropping, my hobbies such as all ocean activities and sports where only done high and then slowly not at all. Nothing was "cool" or important except getting high. With or without my friends. Then I was introduced to Meth or "crystal" Would I have considered it if not for my weed habit? Of course not. Plus I am just going to try it this one time. Wow! Now I could easily talk to girls. In fact I could talk and talk for hours to anyone about anything. And you know I'm one cool, smooth dude. Man I feel good. Then after it wore off I would struggle with depression and smoke a lot of weed until I got more meth. Now high school was over. I had no ambition for college but I did work in the family business. I still could hold a job with these habits. Now a friend tells me about this drug (heroin) that is just like pot except there’s no "burn out" He doesn't address it as heroin but a harmless sounding slang name. I observe him and his friends smoking this brown powder for months. They seem to be having a good time. They don't die. In fact there having more fun than I am. I wanted to try it. Just once, too see what it feels like. I would never try it again. Again it was the new friends at first and then the drug that became the major attraction. But it was o.k. because I'm going to never smoke it again after this next time. Oops, I did it again. O.K. but next week I'm going to quit for sure! Now the heroin made me feel nice, but the cocaine smoking was awesome. Plus no crash because I'll just smoke a little heroin. Before too long I was injecting a cocaine and heroin solution (speedball) into my veins as often as I could. Working did not accommodate my lifestyle. How could I work anyway in heroin withdrawal? I had to get some dope! Let’s see, my family has disowned me, I've sold everything I ever had. I've robbed every friend or family member than I had contact with. What am I going to do? Some how I got my fix every day. Not once but three or four times average. But it was still o.k. because I'm going to quit, maybe even tomorrow after I get high. I went for years thinking this way. I've been arrested many times. I even admitted myself many times to detox to get over the addiction but found myself planning my next high before I even left. I just couldn't cope with life. I didn't know how. But that won't matter, as soon as I get my fix everything will be alright. And it was..., for a little while. At this point I had long stopped kidding myself. I knew I was a hopeless addict. In fact three of my close friends overdosed and died. Another got sent to prison for years, and none of these guys did anything I didn't do. I knew I was on a dead end course to jails, institutions or death. I would put myself into one recovery home after another only to leave to get high. Why? I wasn't ready to admit I was completely powerless over my addiction and my life had become unmanageable. Only after I completely surrendered was I ready to listen to suggestions from the wonderful people in Narcotics Anonymous. (twelve step program) Today I enjoy many blessings of recovery. I have a wonderful family that loves and trusts me. I work every day, pay bills, support myself and even help others where I can. I love to travel and do as I can afford to. I still have problems but today I don't escape with artificial substances. I have learned coping skills, and realize that life isn't always wonderful but it could be a heck of a lot worse. I don't want to wake up one day an old man, and wonder what I could have been. I'm going to find out! You see, I'm one of the lucky ones and am extremely grateful for that. UPDATE 5/24/2005: Relapsed with painkillers about one year ago, and have been struggling since. I have about 30 days clean as of today 5/24. It's no big mystery/shocker. I stopped doing what I needed to do (program) and made a stupid decision. A couple vicodins woke up the dragon. I'll be ok if I do what I did to get the five yrs. Good luck to all of us! 2/14/06 Doing really well today (one day at a time). I also went through and am still very much going through the most difficult thing I ever have without using any drugs. Not hiding from emotional pain today by artificial means but rather accepting my emotions as natural and moving forward. I'm focusing today on not denying my emotions but acting constructively despite. I realize today that any artificial numbing may help in escaping short term pain but then complete facilitate suffering. Today I recognize my self destructive habits.

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