Expert: Peter L. - 4/30/2010

Question
My partner of more than 15 years is starting to show wired behavior. I know that he smoke weed and he stated that this is the only thing however, his behaviors show something completely different? He has taken money and he needs money everyday. I am the only one working right, he is in school. We had a child and he is close to both of us. He stays missing days at a time and if he comes in he is hurry, drinking a lot and looks at TV at 2,3,am, when I have to work the next day. I would like to support him and not leave however I am not sure if I can do that on my own. It like he does not care about anything, my work, school, our child nothing. I think that when you can not get it he go to sleep! Does this sound like crack use???????????

Answer
g,

There'a a very strong chance your partner is using a substance or substances other than marijuana.  From what you've written, there are lots of signs of this.  If you really want to know, have him do a urine test, either at a drug program, with a doctor, or with a home test kit.  If he gives you a hard time, or avoids following through, you'll have your answer right there.  You also might ask (or tell) him that you also want the drug screens done randomly.  Since you are his source of support, you have a right to ask this.  You can also be more judicious in how you offer him money -- have some accountability with regard to what he does with it.

Best,
Peter