Expert: Jacqui - 6/22/2010

Question
QUESTION: My biggest reason for telling you what I'm about to tell you is because I need some understanding on why drug addiction is so strong that people continue on until they lose there lives.

My brother's addiction started when he was 14 years old. I am 1 year older then him and when he was 14 I saw him smoke crack. Then he began living with a friend for a couple of years, That friends mother was addicted to meth. That's when Kyle's addiction to meth started. That continued on until he was 18.
Then he moved in with a girlfriend and her father sold oxy, my brother addiction then turned to oxy and he was shooting it up and occationaly shooting up meth when oxy wasnt available.

He had been in and out of treatment his last treatment he was dating a girl when he went in and she found out she was pregnant. He got out 1 month before the baby was born. He was very close to his son and never left him for more then 30 min. from the time he was born. But it could not kick the addition.

My brother said he was clean though we all knew other wise. Somehow he had gotten his hands on Fentanyl Patches and sucked the gel out of them and shot them up. This landed him in the hospital where he had died in March but they brought him back.
His probation officer had him set to go in the Monday before he died. Then Friday April 23rd my brother shot up another patch and was pronounced dead at 25 years old. His son was only 8 months old.
Kyle never made it to Chase's 1st birthday which is this July, he never made it to his first father's day which is this Sunday. I have delt with drug addition in my family mu intire life. My dad was a drug user and a alcoholic and has been all my life.
I left my husband 1 year ago in august because he has an addiction to pills and heroin.
I have 3 boys and I need to keep them safe in a world surrounded by drug addition. I would like to use my experience in dealing with drug users by helping in some way. Id like to go to collage and try to figure out a way to do that.
We need to educate on the leathal realitys of drug addition.

What are you thoughts on this I really want to understand why this happened. Even if it was an overdose why couldnt they bring him back again? Did he know or feel any pain since Fentanyl is described as 100 times more then morephine is it safe to say he was outa his mind and had know idea what was going on? I'd hate to think he knew he was dieing and struggled. What are your thoughts on everything I just told you?

ANSWER: HI Justina,

This is so complicated.  I am really sorry to hear of your story and your brother seems like a lovely guy who had a problem, what many people see as a health problem just like diabetes or asthma - it sometimes kills people and it sometimes doesn't.

If I had an answer to "why" people have drug problems I would tell you, but unfortunately I don't.  I must admit though, I believe that people have used drugs for many many many years (thousands) and it is unlikely to change.  I believe that the way that some drugs are treated by society (i.e.: some are illegal and really stigmatised) actually makes them more dangerous.  Fentynal patches aren't meant to be injected and it would be difficult for your brother to know how much fentanyl he was getting in his system.  I actually believe in Harm Reduction as a way of addressing drug use.  As you pointed out, nothing really stopped your partner and being faced with jail didn't have an impact.

Although I don't advocate that people take drugs, I understand it does happen, and if we demonise them then they are going to be more marginalised.  In China people risk execution for using drugs, but they still do it - in other words, nothing will stop people.  By providing people with support and not threatening to throw them in jail, we can keep them alive until they are ready to stop (and most people do decide to stop at some point).  

As far as the hospital not being able to revive him, it is was probably due to him being unconscious and having no oxygen to his brain for too long.  Opiates in large doses cause breathing to slow down and sometimes stop.  When this happens it stops oxygen getting to the brain and shuts down the messages for the heart to keep beating, which stops blood pumping and then there isn't any blood to keep the brain alive.  I am sorry to describe this in such a clinical manner.

I think it is great that you want to help others.  Many people who work in the drug sector are peopel who have used or in some cases still use illegal substances, and often they are people who have had experiences like your own.  I think it is really improtant to do some study as well, as often we can use our own experience in a way that puts everyone else in the same situation, and having an education to add to your own experience can balance this out.

I hope I have be able to help somehow.  I hope you are getting the support you need and maintain contact with Chase (which is a beautiful name).  I am sure you can keep his Dad's memory alive, and make sure he learns the great things and doesn't just hear horrible stereotyped 'junkie' stories.  People who use drugs are just like eveyrone else.  I often say in this site that your last three presidents have used drugs - so drug users are in all levels of society.  Unfortunately though, some people develop problems and some don't survive.  Remember your brother for the great person he was.

Take care and let me know if there is anything else I can do,

Jacqui

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Kyle was set to go to treatment not jail sorry I shoulda said treament. You are right about Chase and there are plans to always keep what killed his father a secret. We all want to keep Kyles memory alive with Chase since he will never know Kyle.
There are concerns with Chase's mother and her family. They all live on the same land right next to each other. There all drug users and Chase is being raised in that setting and that just kills me.
I'd love to say that I spend time with Chase but being a single mother to 3 boys of my own I rarely have time to even do the small things. I do need to find a way to balance my time and get over there and spend time with him more often.
Right now my children and my nefew are living in a scary world as is all other children. I hope that I can educate my boys and my brothers son on the toxic realitys of drug use. It is so very scary to me to think of having to deal with that with my own boys or even Chase.
I just wanted to follow up by saying thank you for your response and I am still trying to figure out how this happend but your awnsers were very helpful.
I think I would like to work in a treatment center and have thought about it for years. I dont judge I try to understand because I dont understand but I want to. I want to know why people use and why it consumes there life. I want to know how that drug becomes more important than your life or in better terms becomes your life.
His dealth is still new and we just found out with the toxicolligy report what did it and I started to research fentayl patches. You can over dose just from to much touching your skin and he was injecting it in his blood stream. You are also right in that he was not breathing in fact he was gushing blood from his mouth and nose which is why I wanted to know if it was a safe bet that he was too out of it from the drug to know what was going on or if he suffered. When he was found he was also gasping.
When the parametics got there they tryed to stick a breathing tube down his through and also tried to clear his throat from the gushing blood.
If I hope anything that is that maybe his story will save someones life.
Thanks again,
Justina

Answer
No problems Justina.

One point to consider - it isn't so difficult to understand why people USE drugs (as opposed to being dependent on them).  Do you drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes?  Do you drink coffee?  These are all types of drugs, and the legality of a drug isn't really related to its dangerousness or potential for dependency (smoking and alcohol kill more people than all illegal drugs combined).  The issue of dependence is much more complex, and why people will go to great lengths to obtain a substance (legal or illegal - I have heard some pretty terrible stories about people drinking methylated spirits when they couldn't get a beer or wine).

I hope things work for you. I would suggest not taking an adversarial approach with the people looking after Chase, but try to be there for him.  If there are issues with his mum, then you can help by providing support to him.  Drugs alone, however, aren't enough to make someone a bad parent, but there are situations where children can be placed in more danger by being around any kind of illegal or legal drug.

Please take care of yourself.

Best wishes,

Jacqui