Expert: Peter L. - 4/6/2011

Question
my wife has been dealing with addiction for sometime now. it started about 2 years ago. they were prescribed for her for a medical condition and soon after that it was all down hill. she was arrested for writing fake prescriptions. during that time she checked into a sort of rehad at the local hospital for a week. well fast forward about 2 years and shes has been arrested numerous more for various things writing fake prescps along with stealing from me credit cards, checks, cash, anything she can get her hands on.she has also stolen jewelry cash from family and friends. con-ing family and friends i love her so much we had confronted her atleast 3x's and she just denies and lies. she lied to me on a daily basis even swearing on our child but then lying to me. id give her chance after chance just for her to steal from me again and blame it on ppl within our family. she even used her 14 year old daughter to get pills. she has done so much lyn and stealing i had to finally tell her to leave our home because during the xmas holiday she stole my step daughters xmas gift and pawned it. at the present time i take care of our son. she claims she is done with it all but i feel ill  never trust her cuz of what she has done. dcf is involved and she was not permitted around the children. i feel i cant give her another chance but i dont wanna turn my back on her. i used to beg her on a daily basis to tell me the truth but she never did she would come up with crazy elboarate stories im just so stressed and confused.... any support or advice will help thank you

Answer
Hi Frank,

Sadly, you are seeing first hand how an innocent use of powerful pain medications (opioids) can turn into a serious addiction.  Opioids are a very risky drug in terms of addictive potential.  I find some individuals treated with opioids for pain take them as prescribed, and as needed, then stop or move to a non-opioid analgesic such as Tylenol.  Others seem to find a powerful psychological reward associated with opioid use, and develop a problematic relationship with these drugs.  Over time, addiction to these drugs turns the person using them into someone they would have never believed they would be.  I wonder if your wife would have ever believed she's steal her step daughter's xmas gift and sell it.  Nor would she ever in her life expect that she'd get her daughter to get pills for her.  These are things people don't normally do; they find them criminal.  For the opioid addict, it's just another day at the office.  Essentially, the addiction has corrupted their thinking and made them unaware of how treacherous their behavior has become.

We are seeing a lot of opiate dependence (heroin, pills) these days in the treatment program I work in.  I've had clients with with all kinds of chemical addictions: alcohol, pot, cocaine, methamphetamine, and of course opiates.  What's interesting about treating opiate addiction is that almost always the treatment involves what is known as an opiate replacement therapy, such as Suboxone or Methadone.  I get a sense that everyone - clients and clinicians all - feel there is limited success in using only "talk therapy" to manage this addictive behavior.  It's just complex and powerful an addiction to simply talk away.

Almost everyone I work with who has an opiate addiction is on Suboxone or Methadone.  They often are in counseling programs too - and our program requires that - but I have to admit, the counseling seems of secondary importance to my opiate clients.  In other words, they would not do the counseling if they didn't have to, just get the Suboxone or Methadone.  I firmly believe that.

The conclusion?   There's a strong physical component to this addiction, maybe a long term withdrawal syndrome, that must be addressed.  The opiate replacement drugs accomplish that.  Your wife is in the "think of it" with respect to her addiction, and needing to do something soon unless your family suffers even more consequences.

DCF wisely knows she's a threat to the family.  She needs treatment, and needs it soon.  All efforts should go into getting her there.  It will take some pressure to make that happen, and you are a critical piece of that.  You are essentially saving the family from her, as bad as that may sound.  She's not the person she used to be.  She's lost to something else, and has to reclaim herself.  Once she gets some time free of these drugs she will regain her perspective.  But there will be a period of time early in her recovery where she will be moody, unsure of herself, and erratic.  The Suboxone or Methadone will help with that.  Google those words to find out more about those drugs.  And don't take no from her: she needs treatment, and if she doesn't get it, she may have to remove herself from the family until she does.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Peter