Expert: Jacqui - 6/6/2011

Question
hey my names heather id like some advice my boyfreind kaleb alwayss smokes pot he has a really bad home life but thats not an exuse for always smoking pot.Everytime when were together hes always high kalebs my world but i just cant have a boyfreind that smokes 24 7 how do i tell him he needs help without making him upseat?
heather.

Answer
Hey,
You don't have to spend time with him when he is drug affected if it is something that you don't like.  However, you will need to approach the issue with care with him, and often people who use illegal drugs (as opposed to the legal ones like alcohol) have been hassled and hassled about their drug use, and are sick of people telling them to stop.  I would advise that you approach it gently with him, and just say that you would prefer to spend some time with him when he isn't drug affected.  However, you won't be able to force him, and ultimately it will be his decision.  Just try not to be judgmental, and approach it with an open mind.  The fact that cannabis is illegal doesn't mean it is any worse for you than alcohol and it certainly isn't any worse for you than cigarettes which are totally legal.  

Unfortunately, if he chooses not to stop, you may have to decide whether you want to continue the relationship, or whether you are able to continue to tolerate his use.

Take care,
Jacqui