Expert: Sherrie Sweet - 9/2/2011

Question
I just finished outpatient treatment and still in the recovery process. I have been going to at least one meeting every day. Sometimes I even go too 2-3 meetings in a single day. I also go to a recovery group that is 3 hours long, which count as two meetings according to my sponsor. I feel that I really need these meetings to keep me sober.

I am in love with my drugs and love how they aloud me to laugh, have fun, socialize, and of course feel good. Coke was my first addiction, followed by X. I was also eating shrooms, and tripping on LSD. I was doing drugs every two weeks because that's when I got paid. I then got into Mephedrone (Meow Meow) Its being sold as ether plant food or bath salts to bypass the law and legally sell it. Its a combination of coke, X, and speed. I was doing about 20-50 grams a month, my life really became unmanageable. My last episode consisted of me doing 100 grams in 4 days. I finally had enough and told my parents I needed help and that I'm addicted. I was in tears crying as I was doing another line. They asked me a bunch of questions. They also asked me how much I did, and I lied and said I did 50 grams, thinking that wasn't a big deal. They took me straight to the hospital. Then I went to outpatient treatment center.

I'm just fresh out of rehab and attend as many meetings as I possibly can. My parents said, I'm going too to many meetings, and I don't need to go to one every single day. I'm terrified that if I don't go, I will go back to using and I told them that. I was told by my treatment center I should try to make 90 meetings in 90 days. That's what I'm trying to do. Its the meetings that keep me sober. I am also working my two jobs, so that keeps me occupied. I went to my after care today, which was at 5:00. I basically rode my bike home and then rode to my treatment center. Then after I got out, I wanted to attend a meeting. My parents were already mad about the after care and they got even more mad when I told them I was going to a meeting that started at 8. I actually told them 7:30, and forgot it was 8 on Thursday's. They are complaining because I am never home anymore. I have two jobs and when I have free time, I try to hit some meetings. I told them my sobriety comes first. They said no, Chores come first and then you can go to your meetings. You have priorities. My parents said I should be able to live a normal life. I'm doing everything I can to stay sober and its a lot of work. I then told him, I have a disease. Then my parents said, they brain washed me. They trained me to just make excuses for not doing anything around here. I'm not always their when they need my help, but I am afraid if I miss a meeting, I will go back to using drugs. I then suggested to them that they come to one of my NA meetings, but that didn't go over so well. I don't drive, so I have to ride my bike everywhere and that's another reason why it takes me longer to get home to do my chores. They want everything done as soon as I come home from work, but if I do that, I won't be able to make the meeting in time because their is not to many meetings I can ride my bike to. If I had a car, it would be different, but I don't. I know my parents won't drive me to any meetings, so that's a lost cause. They seem to think that going to rehab would cure me and that I will be perfectly normal. They also want me to whine myself off of these meetings, so I don't have to go to them. Am I doing anything wrong. Thank you.

Answer
Hi Russell,
Congratulations for completing your initial treatment phase and for following through with your aftercare treatment.  Addiction is a disease which is very misunderstood by many people. Unfortunately, most of society still considers addiction as a moral issue, or an inability to “just say no”.  These beliefs can make it very difficult to continue with the treatment you need to recover and keep the symptoms of this disease in remission.
You said that you had invited your parents to attend a meeting with you and that they are unwilling to go. Perhaps your counselor can set up a family meeting to talk with your parents and provide them education regarding the process of recovery and the importance of life long disease management.
I would also suggest that you speak about your lack of family support at meetings. Many people there have experienced this same type of family pressure. Not only can you receive support for this issue, but they may have some ideas about how they handled the situation.
The most important thing to remember is that your focus has to be on your recovery needs. That is not to say that you do not have a responsibility to your family, but balance is always the key. They may or may not begin to understand, and as hard as that may be for you, your recovery needs must be met or your chances of returning to using are high.
Keep going to meetings Russell, ask for help and support from those who are able to provide it and remember, the struggles today are only for today, not forever.
Best of luck,
Sherrie