Addiction to Drugs/herion addiction
My girl friend OD on herion and died 3 month ago I know she is in a better place now because at the end she did not want to live any more she swore she loved me to death an she never cheated on me but 2 of her close friends told me she only used me for my car an money we were together for 2 1/2 years the last month of her life she got really bad went to rehab for 14 days an got out an 3 days later she od her 2 of friends told me she was having sex for drugs an love him not me not only am I hurt for her dieing I am hurt that she did that an now I am wondering if her friends where right they gave me all kind of doubt I want to beleave she loved me but now i dont know is there away you can help me into making sense into this
thanks for any insight you could give me I am seeing a shrink
I really don't know that answer. Having not known either of you two. There must have been something there for her to have remained with you for that long. I can tell you from experience if she was having sex for money or drugs that is all it was: sex. There were no emotional ties with the men she had sex with to get what she needed from them. She looked at them as objects that could give her what she needed. There was little emotional, to none, intimate feelings with those men. She had that with you. a lot of addicts will do anythin and with anybody as long as they get what they need, money and or drugs. It sounds like she loved you. If not she would have left a long time ago. She loved you the best she knew how. It may not seem like love from outsiders but it was the love she was capable of with a defective mind from drugs. Anyone who uses drugs or alcohol to addiction will mess the mind up and affects peoples emotional growth. I saw that in myself. The way I loved in addiction, and I really did love, was not the same love I am capable of today. It's different. You know what you had with her. No one else experienced that but you 2. Don't listen to her firends. They can't deny what you felt and what you two shared, emotionally, intimately, physically and mentally. No one can yptake those experiences away. No one can argue with your feelings or hers. You know what you had with her. No outsider can tell you differently. Because you two experienced together. You were participants in love. Her friends did not feel or witness what you two did. She may have told them one thing but didn't her actions with you speak differently than what they are telling you? Let the go. Don't listen to them. Enjoy the memories you two had together. Don't let anyone try to change or take them away from you. I believe she loved you. Had seen been clean and sober the love you shared would have been different in the sense she was not always high. But you can still love when high. It's just better when both are clean and sober. Listen to your heart and play the memories over in your heart and mind, then you will have your answer. Don't let outsiders try and tell you what you had. They are ooutsiders looking in. You know what you had. You had love. Don't question this anymore. Start enjoying the memories. Please grieve and do what you need to do to get thru tifficult times that lie ahead. I'm glad you're getting help. Take care of you. Don't let others deter you. Don't compare your grief to others grief. Each person is in a different stage of grief. Stay with the therapy. It works. Take care of you first. Hope this helps.