Expert: Crystal - 1/1/2008

Question
QUESTION: I think my brother might be smoking pot. Lately, he's been hanging out with all the people in my town who do. I am not able to hang out with him very often because we live in separate homes, but I know that he is naive enough to become an addict. In his old home, with his grandparents, they smoked pot around him constantly. I fear that he may think that it isn't a big deal and it's okay. I need to know a way to bring it up with him and change his mind. Our grand parents, our mother, his father and all of their friends all smoked pot around us when we were little. I'm afraid that if he becomes addicted, I'll be the only one left to fight.

ANSWER: Alex,

You sound like a bright kid and I am sorry that you have suffered so much in such a short time.
How old is your brother? This will tell me how you need to approach him. Are you two close? This will give me an idea how you should approach him. It is always hard to approach a family member, especially a sibling because of the fear of losing them but we can figure it out.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: He's eleven, turning twelve soon. We aren't very close, since we never lived in the same household, but we're close enough to admit we're related. We fight a lot, but it's mostly because he challenges me and tries to be better than me. I tolerate it because I know it's hard for him to be younger, but he doesn't understand it's hard for me, too, 'cause I have to grow up first. Just in case you ask, I'm fourteen.

Answer
Alex,
That is so awful for the both of you and you are right you do have to grow up first. It is hard to be the older of the siblings when you are all facing this type of lifestyle and loss because whether or not you want to you carry the brunt of the weight and it sucks because you remember the most and feel everyones pain as well as your own. Not too many people realize that and you have a passion I think that so many are lacking, that is what is going to make you successful in the long run so hang on to that. As for your brother I would reach out to an adult who can help, a teacher, a friend, someone who can help you to approach this in the right way so he knows you are trying to help him not lose him. He is young so you may have a good chance to help him now rather then later.
I hope this helps I know it is hard but you are just a kid yourself and you need the hand of an adult who can truly make a change in the right direction.