Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 6/5/2004

Question
Traci and I had an on off relationship for almost 2 years, when I met her she was working as a prostitute (by her own admission to support her heroin habit). I have stood by her and supported her through 3 rehab attempts and 2 over doses which almost took her life. I sat by her side in hospital for 2 weeks while she recovered. She has been using heroin for 4 years now she is only 21 years old.

While we were together she became pregnant had a miscarriage, doctors said the foetus aborted due to opiate distress. The loss of our child destroyed me completely but I stood by her. I loved her so very much. A week after she returned from the hospital after the miscarriage she left and had an affair with on of her ex clients, someone she had meet while she worked as a prostitute. She spent 2 weeks with him then came back saying that she loved me and missed me. I took her back into my life once more. She constantly lied to me and deceived me at every turn, she lied about everything all of the time even things she didn't need to lie about. Her level of manipulation was incredible.

When she cam back she promised she would go back to rehab, no such luck she just drugged more and more, lied more and more and deceived more and more. I felt lost I didn't not know what to do anymore I never new what she would do next. This went on for several months until about 2 months ago we had a big fight and she left not telling me were she was going. I learned she was with this guy she had an affair with the last time. He has since paid for her to go into rehab she is still in rehab right now she gets out on Monday the 7th of June.

She called me from rehab saying the she never wants to speak to me again, because her new boyfriend loves her and cares for her and is supporting her. She said that she is moving in with him when she gets out of rehab. All this has left me speechless. She lies to me deceives me, exposes me to the risk of hiv and she never wants to speak to me again even though all I ever did was support her to come off heroin.

While we lived together I covered all the costs, I paid the rent bought food, she worked but spent all she earned on heroin.

I don't understand and I seriously need some perspective. This is driving me insane.

Answer
This must be a very difficult situation for you to understand. First of all, let me say that a heroin addict in my opinion suffers from a brain  disorder that affects all departments of her personality. It is not primarily a disorder of personality, as so many drug rehabilitation programs assume, but a disease of the brain. This disease I have described as hypoglycemia or prediabetic insulin resistance. Any treatment for drug rehabilitation should include Nutritional Therapy, and failure to do so, will most likely result in relapse into drug taking. Thus the failure to remain drug free after she left the rehabilitation centre is due that the program most likely ignored the physical aspect of addiction.

If you want to find out about this approach in the treatment of drug addiction, I suggest you read some of the articles at our web site, that explains this all.

It is admirable to see you endeavouring to help an addict, but you have to ask yourself what is motivating you to do so. I cannot give the answers here, because this would require a number of personal interviews with you.

However, if you want to find out about yourself, I suggest that you study our self-help PSYCHOTHERAPY course at our web site. This course starts off with a consideration of the self-image and its relation to other people. It helps you to understand how a person thinks and how we can overcome psychological problems. It defines happiness as our ability to satisfy our personal needs without interfering with the needs of another person.

This ability is very much related to our self-image. A person with a negative self-image is likely to get emotionally involved with a person with an equally negative self-image. On the other hand a person with a positive self-image and respect for the self, is most likely to get emotionally involved with a person with a positive self-image. This hinges on the concept of responsibility for one's own happiness. A person with a positive self-image is likely to believe that his/her happiness does not depend on other people, but rather that it stems from within. Such a person  believes that other people are also ultimately responsible for their own happiness. Other people cannot make you happy or unhappy, it is you who decides to live a life, choose people who fulfills your needs. Only a happy person can satisfy the needs of another. These are just some of the thoughts.

If you are interested I suggest you study the self-help PSYCHOTHERAPY course at our web site free of charge. I hope it may give you some insight not only into yourself but also other people.

Jurriaan Plesman
Free web site
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au