Expert: Crystal - 6/22/2007

Question
Are there any websites out there Specifically for Cheating wife's who Sincerely want help?
I've been cheating on my husband for the last ten years of my young life.
This has caused Immense Guilt was has led me to feeling depressed. I Hide MY Unhappiness with drugs; that's what I believe I have done.
I'm an E.R. nurse, I should know better. I'm Crying out for Help! It's 3:30 in the morning and can't seem to sleep. As I see my children sleep, all I could feel is My Honest Cry  for Help! I want to STOP before I lose my family and home!
Any references are Greatly appreciated!
I'm in the LA area and am already enrolled with a drug addiction program.
Please contact me at dposadarn@yahoo.com
Thank-you

Answer
Diana,

Lets slow down a bit and talk about why you are cheating on him. Were your parents divorced? Did they cheat on each other? Commitment issues come from deep inside rooted stuff, and it is usually pain and hurt from years before. It is our defense mechanisms that lead us to the thoughts of the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence. You need to make this a part of your treatment, going to a group might help you later on down the road but right now you need to figure out why you do it and what you are running from before you can begin to allow others in, it may be something that you can't handle others knowing right now. Does this make sense? Take a step back, think about your childhood and remember you are only thinking so it is ok, then let it go a little, there are reasons for this I promise, it is not just something you are doing for fun. When you are with other people other then your husband, do you get pleasure from it or is it an act for you, do you feel like you are doing it to please the other person? This means alot if you can identify with how you feel when you are acting on these urges.

What kind of treatment center are you in? What is your drug of choice?
Lets talk some more about this, think about what I said and then write back with what you may or may not have figured out.