AboutPeter C. Winkler, CSW Expertise I have experience with adoption subsidy, the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and variety of other adoption related matters. I hope that I can be helpful to those who are considering adoption or would like to adopt a child.
Experience I am a social worker with an MSW and I have over thirty years of experience in family and children's services. I have worked as Director of adoption services and of the Interstate Compact in a large state agency. I have also provided direct services to children and families in a preventive services program. I currently prepare adoption studies for those who are adopting domestically or internationally.
Question QUESTION: I HAVE A FOUR-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, WHO HAS BEEN RAISED BY MY HUSBAND SINCE SHE WAS A YEAR OLD, SHE HAS HAD VERY LITTLE CONTACT WITH BIOLAGICAL DAD, DURING THE TIME THERE WAS CONTACT MY DAUGHTER REFUSED TO CALL HIM DAD SINCE HE IS A STRANGER TO HER,HE THEN TRIED TO PLAY GAMES WITH HER HEAD AND TRIED TO MANIPULATE HER IN ORDER TO FIGHT FOR CUSTODY WHICH THE JUDGED RULED HIS PETION TO BE ABSURD AND PLACED HIM ON SUPERVISED VISITATION ONLY ONCE EVERY 2 WEEKS AND SINCE THEN (AUG.2007) HAS NOT SEEN HER, MY CONCERN IS THAT MY DAUGHTER IS NOW IN PRESCHOOL AND I HAVE TO TEACH HER FIRST NAME AND LAST NAME, WE HAVE 5 KIDS TOTAL, SHE IS THE ONLY ONE IN THE ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD WITH A DIFFEREN NAME, AND AS I TEACH HER STEPBROTHER, WHO IS ALSO 4 YEARS OLD, SHE REPEATS HER NAME WITH MY HUSBAND'S LAST NAME, OUR OLDEST CHILD WAS THE ONE WHO OPENED UP THE IDEA OF CHANGING HER LAST NAME BECAUSE IN MY 8-YEAR OLD CHILD'S WORDS " IT IS NOT FAIR, ARLENE IS MY SISTER AND SHE NEEDS TO HAVE MY SAME LAST NAME, JUST LIKE DADDYS, BECAUSE HE IS THE ONE WHO TAKES CARE OF US" WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE AND WOULD YOU CONSIDER THIS DIFFICULT FOR A JUDGE TO RELEASE HIM FROM HIS "PARENTAL RIGHTS" AND GRANT US THE CHANGE?
ANSWER: Hi Pam-You didn't indicate whether the birthfather pays child support for Arlene and whether he has a god record of doing this. He might be willing to voluntarily terminate his parental rights if he realizes that will also eliminate his legal obligation to pay child support. On the other hand, if he refuses to terminate his rights and he has not paid child support regularly, this would be a good reason to request that the court terminate his rights involuntarily. Keep in mind that even with the termination done, before your husband can go ahead and adopt, an adoption home study will have to be done with his background checked out.
Feel free to ask follow up questions.
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QUESTION: THANK YOU FOR THE PROMPT ANSWER! I APPRECIATE THAT! AND NO, HE HAS NEVER PAID CHILD SUPPORT "REGULARLY" IN FACT , HE HAS HARDLY PAID A DIME, SINCE OUR LAST COURT ORDER, HE HAS NOT SEEN HER OR PAID ANY CHILD SUPPORT AND HAS NOT HELPED WITH INSURANCE EITHER! IF IT HELPS TO KNOW, HE IS AN IMMIGRANT WHO HAS HAD A PRIOR DEPORTATION BUT DECIDED TO COME BACK AND HAUNT. WE LIVE IN THE STATE OF NEVADA. I CURRENTLY HAVE A CASE OPEN WITH THE CHILD SUPPORT WHO SHOULD BE GETTING READY TO FILE FOR CONTEMPT SINCE HE HAS NOT COMPLIED WITH HIS ORDER. ALSO, INSTEAD OF THE ADOPTION THRU MY HUSBAND, SINCE I HAVE CHANGED MY LAST NAME TO MY HUSBAND'S WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE THAT INSTEAD OF HIM ADOPTING HER, I COULD JUST FILE TO CHANGE HER LAST NAME TO MY CURRENT ONE? AND IF WE DON'T DO THE ADOPTION YET, WHEN WOULD IT BE APPROPIATE TO FILE FOR SOLE CUSTODY?
Answer Hi again Pam-I am not a lawyer, but I don't really see a reason for filing for sole custody in your situation. Changing the last name of your daughter will not change her legal status. Given the situation with your ex-husband, it should be relatively easy to get his rights terminated, if he is unwilling to relinquish. It would be best to discuss the whole matter with an adoption attorney in your state.
