AboutRachel Expertise I can answer questions about fostering - What's it like to be a foster carer? Who to go to for help? Experiences with troubled children. Attachment problems. Leaving care. Long term fostering. Dealing with birth families. Working with schools, statements, EBD schools.
Experience My husband and I have been foster carers for over five years and we are currently long term carers for two boys. We have had one boy from the age of 9 to 14 years who is with us long term. We have done short term respite care, one year seeing a sixteen year old girl through to leaving care and long term care of another boy from age 10-11
Question We have two foster boys 14 and 17. I have been a foster parent for over 20 years and I have always felt like a good one. I do long term teens am in contact with most of the children that have passed through our home. some still coming back for Christmas etc.
The two boys in question are with us 17 yr old a year and 14yr 6months. I have been telling the health board that they are both involved in drug dealing for some time. In the house they are wonderful boys well the seemed loving and caring. However in spite of having had locks put on all bedrooms as a result of theft. they got a key and stole 4500 from our bedroom this money was for our family holiday..the 17yr was booked to go with us to Miami..but he took the savings...and nether will say what happened to money or that they are sorry...and no one cares. I want to keep them but should I? my family think I am mad
Answer Dolores
I understand what you are going through. Our two long term boys are 14 and 16 and the older one has used drugs and alcohol. He has also stolen from us (although not as much as you) and we have a lock on our bedroom door too.
My personal view is that you should try to continue to foster the boys as you are their stability and main hope of a successful and happy life. If you stop fostering them, I think they will be pushed further into drug dealing.
However, this theft must be taken seriously and I think you should report it to the police. The boys have to learn that this behaviour is not acceptable. You should make them aware that if they continue with drugs then you will have to report this to the police as well. They need to be stopped now before it is too late for them.
We have good relations with the police over our boy who understand that he is a victim as well and have treated him sympathetically. They have helped to reinforce how serious the situation is.
Whatever you do, it think you need to try to stick with the boys as it will show them that someone cares and that is what will make the difference in the long run.
Good luck - no matter what choice you make, you will have done your best.
