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You are here: Experts > Parenting/Family > Adoption > Adoption Issues > Adoption
Expert: Peter C. Winkler, CSW
Date: 2/27/2008
Subject: Adoption
Question
Unfortunate not all parents get along and some do not make it easy to see your child, even when your paying child support. I have not been in my child life for over 5 years but i am paying child support. I have seen him on and off but i feel this has done more harm than good. She has asked and filed paperwork to terminate my rights which still requires me to pay child support, i know of other cases where when rights are terminated child support can be terminated as well. She is also looking to have her husband now adopt the child, but i do not want to be financially responsible as this process could take years and i have no say in the child life, or worse she could change her mind and not let her current husband adopt. How can i make sure financial responsibility is terminated? Can adoption paperwork be completed and ready to sign before termination date? Can you offer any advice?
Answer
Dear Donny-
Since I am not a lawyer and laws regarding termination of parental rights differ from state to state, I can only give some general feedback on your question. I most cases that I am familiar with, when a parent relinquishes parental rights, the parent is also relieved of any child support obligation in the future. If you want this, I think that you should make clear that a condition of your signing the relinquishment is that the document indicates that you are relieved of future support obligations. (You probably continue to be responsible for unpaid back payments of child support.) You can always bring the paperwork to a lawyer to make sure that you are signing a document that provides for this.
I would also add that since you are the birthfather of this child, it would be a good idea for the child to have a way of contacting you in the future,in case he wants to get in touch with you then. You could even write a letter to the child in which you indicate that you relinquished your rights because you felt it was better for him that way. In the letter you could also indicate that you still love him and he is welcome to contact you in the future if he wants to. You could give this letter to the child's mother and tell her to give it to the child in the future when he is ready to read it.
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