AboutPeter C. Winkler, CSW Expertise I have experience with adoption subsidy, the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and variety of other adoption related matters. I hope that I can be helpful to those who are considering adoption or would like to adopt a child.
Experience I am a social worker with an MSW and I have over thirty years of experience in family and children's services. I have worked as Director of adoption services and of the Interstate Compact in a large state agency. I have also provided direct services to children and families in a preventive services program. I currently prepare adoption studies for those who are adopting domestically or internationally.
Question QUESTION: Unfortunate not all parents get along and some do not make it easy to see your child, even when your paying child support. I have not been in my child life for over 5 years but i am paying child support. I have seen him on and off but i feel this has done more harm than good. She has asked and filed paperwork to terminate my rights which still requires me to pay child support, i know of other cases where when rights are terminated child support can be terminated as well. She is also looking to have her husband now adopt the child, but i do not want to be financially responsible as this process could take years and i have no say in the child life, or worse she could change her mind and not let her current husband adopt. How can i make sure financial responsibility is terminated? Can adoption paperwork be completed and ready to sign before termination date? Can you offer any advice?
ANSWER: Dear Donny-
Since I am not a lawyer and laws regarding termination of parental rights differ from state to state, I can only give some general feedback on your question. I most cases that I am familiar with, when a parent relinquishes parental rights, the parent is also relieved of any child support obligation in the future. If you want this, I think that you should make clear that a condition of your signing the relinquishment is that the document indicates that you are relieved of future support obligations. (You probably continue to be responsible for unpaid back payments of child support.) You can always bring the paperwork to a lawyer to make sure that you are signing a document that provides for this.
I would also add that since you are the birthfather of this child, it would be a good idea for the child to have a way of contacting you in the future,in case he wants to get in touch with you then. You could even write a letter to the child in which you indicate that you relinquished your rights because you felt it was better for him that way. In the letter you could also indicate that you still love him and he is welcome to contact you in the future if he wants to. You could give this letter to the child's mother and tell her to give it to the child in the future when he is ready to read it.
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QUESTION: Thank you for your help, i really appreciated the last paragraph about the letter. Since my son has been living with his mother and step father since he was born, after my rights have been relinquished, they he plans to adopt him. How long after this is completed would it take for them to adopt my son as this would also relinquish my rights as well as child support obligation. I am curious if it would proceed any faster seeing how they have been living together for the last 5 years.
Answer Dear Donny-
I really can't give you an estimate of how long it will take for the adoption to go through. It is no uncommon for the process to take a year or more. The court will have to get a written report on the new husband and many states also require a criminal/ child abuse clearance. A lot will depend on how quickly they get things done and how good their lawyer is about moving things along.
