AboutAlice Allen, Rev (ULC) Expertise Adoption Reunion and Reconciliation - Why? Do I matter to you? Are you safe and well? To those reaching out, these are urgent questions. I offer search guidance, information about typical/atypical consequences of reunion, and counseling to all involved parties. Please 'View Profile' for more detail.
Experience I am an Universalist minister and counselor specializing in search, reunion, and reconciliation issues. I am founder of GrannysCupboard, an ULC ministry. As a function of our ministry, GrannysCupboard assists individuals searching for missing or estranged family and community members. Confidential information provided to GrannysCupboard is not shared without explicit permission. All costs associated with search service are paid by GrannysCupboard.
Organizations see above
Education/Credentials see above
Please note: Details that you provide in your questions to me may be posted to the AllExperts site. This means that your personal information could be displayed for the world to see. If this concerns you, please adhere to the following guidelines when communicating with me through allexperts.com
GUIDELINES: Keep questions general in nature, while giving enough information to explain the situation. GrannysCupboard cautions against sharing personally identifying information in public arenas such as AllExperts.
[Personally identifying information includes, for instance: dates of birth,
social security numbers, drivers license and registration numbers, full names
(past and present), education and/or employment histories, financial data,
account ids and passwords, home and business addresses (past and present),
telephone numbers, and photographs.
Providing this type of information about yourself, your family, or your friends
can lead to misuse by persons with less-than-honorable intentions. There are
times when GrannysCupboard may want more information in order to provide high
quality service. In these cases, we will arrange for the transfer of that
information privately.]
In your question, DO include your sex, race, year and state of birth, and your relationship to the person being sought. Include the sex, race, and both the year and state of birth of the person being sought, when possible. Include information about recent whereabouts, occupations, and the approximate ages of relatives, when known.
Providing an accurate answer to your question requires only the limited information called for in these guidelines. Please do not put yourself or your loved ones at risk by sharing personally identifying information in public arenas.
Question I adopted my 9yr old at birth through an open adoption agency.He now knows he has a full blooded younger sister.He very much wants to meet her.Are ther any pitfalls to this situation?His birthparents are still together as my wife and I are divorced.Thankyou
Answer Hello Mike. Usually, I am inclined to support the plans made by the agency and adoptive family (yourself and your former wife) for the care of an adopted child. Thank you for writing.
Pitfalls? Yeah, possibly, and not where we might expect. A "meeting" is not just a meeting, you see? Adoption reunion impacts every person involved: the adoptee; his natural parents and siblings; his adoptive parents and family.
If it were me, I would ask myself a few questions, and then seek the input of the agency's professionals.
Questions: Why seek reunion at this particular time? What are the other parent's (your ex's) thoughts about this? Are you willing to consider additional contact with the natural family after this initial meeting? How will you deal with the new questions your adopted child raises if the natural family is not prepared for reunion or does not respond as you would hope?
Mike, I do applaud the forethought and consideration you have already given this idea. If you pursue it, please be prepared for surprises, mostly positive if all are ready for the changes. In many ways, it could be similar to the blending of families seen in remarriages with children.
Best wishes, Mike. Thank you for your question. I hope I have been some help.
