AboutTerrie Expertise Hello, I am an adoptive mom, past foster parent, I also work with a support group for potential and current birth and adoptive parents. I am also very knowledgable about Open and Private adoption. As well as using a lawyer, counseling, Homestudies, Also Legal Guardianship.
Experience I am an adoptive mom, on online community leader, as well as I am the founder of an Support group for adoption, We help potential birth and adoptive parent's. Find answer's to their need. I also can refer them to appropriate resources.
Organizations United thru Adoption,Online community Leader on adoption concerning Open Adoption and Adopting an Older child.
Expert: Terrie Date: 4/12/2008 Subject: My adoptive daughter
Question Hello, my story is very long, but the question is...do I, as an adoptive Mother have the right to try to find the birth Mother of my daughter. She is married to a man who is a control "freak" and the mother in law is even more controlling of my daughter than the husband. There is verbal abuse, mental abuse. I am not allowed to have my 2 grandchildren even ride in my car, much less come to my home. I am a Christian woman, I adore children, and I tried to go to court in 2000 for grandparental rights, but stopped the process when my son in law agreed to allow the children to come to our home. He lied, nothing ever happened, and for 9 years I have visited in their home. My grandson will be 12 in July and my granddaughter will be 8 in Sept. They adore me, but last week the situation became unbearable for me to visit in their home. The mother in law quite frankly is an evil person, she feels so threatened by my presence that she cusses me, she physically pushed me, and I know she has abused my daughter. My daughter says she loves her husband, and mother in law. She is a prisoner and the children are too. They have never been to church, ( I have prayed, begged, cried) I have asked to take them, I was told that "You will never get these children off of this property" by the mother in law. Their lives are insane and I feel that if I could possibly find my daughter's birth Mother, then she may be able to help my daughter. I realize you are only aware of a part of this situation, and I also feel that this is not my place to find the birth Mother, but I don't know where to turn. Thank you, Martha Ann Harris, Meridian, MS
Answer As far as finding your daughters birthmom I am not sure that anyone will give you identifying information to find her that request would have to come from your daughter. Also this would be putting the birthmom in a very uncomfortable position as she has no prior relationship with your daughter that I am aware of I am not sure involving her will be of any help. You should talk to a spouse abuse hotline see what they suggest. Best wishes I am also a grandmother that is only allowed to see my oldest two grandchldren when our daughter has her kids as they live legally with their dad but actually live with their grandparents whom allow us NO contact. I do understand how you feel. Best wishes
Terrie
